farrrhanah

tumblr

2009-12-31T23:00:00.000-08:00

yeah,new beginnings.
new site.
hushh.
Have a great yearh ahead.
XOXOXO

mood

2009-12-28T14:18:00.000-08:00

i have planned on so many things to write.but i just feel that its kind of pointless.
im thinking of starting a journal.a written one.one with pictures of my bestfriends and my family.2010 is around the corner.resolutions?im not planning any because its pointless.since i dont stick to it.maybe,just maybe this might be the end to trappedindreams.blogspot.com.or maybe not.who knows.maybe id start a new blog with onsugar or tumblr.maybe.but all that is left to say is Happy New Year everyone!
XOXOXO,farhanah

family

2009-12-22T20:24:00.000-08:00

actually right,i wanted to blog abt syams party which was AWESOME!
but then uh,i got issues uh.
so later uh.
i still havent uploaded sarawak pics.
later uh.
the thing is,i thought the upcoming marriage will be an event for the family to gather.
but it looks like its not gonna be a happy event.
i just dont get it.
its like everyone is getting grief about it.
im trying not to blame any parties here but,yes,its you lah.
and you also.
and you too.
selfish sey awak.
kite no friend2 awak anymore.
kite see you when we see you(ala rachel ray).
yes,im still upset but whatever uh kan.

p/s:just because you had your plans disrupted,dont go around cursing others.the world doesnt,didnt and never will revolve around you. a)coz if it did,a year doesnt end in 365 days but more like 1787654324584 days, b)yes,your girth is humongous c)youre ugly
p/s:and i think youve got issues.like anger issues.your mouth is fouler than mine. at least when i curse,i curse the situation in general and not call anyone an SOB because their moms had nothing to do with it and also sometimes the person im cursing are female so that would make her a DOB,which doesnt make sense because DOB is date of birth.
hah!i just cracked myself up.
p/s:okay bye!

bingit

2009-12-20T22:45:00.000-08:00

gua bingit uh sista,
sok gua bilang gua nya bffs.
tapi gua serious.
gua pissed.
peace out.

A town!
Yeah Yeah Yeah!
okay.

dayak

2009-12-19T15:25:00.000-08:00

i conclude that dayaks are sexy people.
especially if theyre male,tattoed and speaks malay.
i always had this thing fr bare-chested male with feathers on their hair.
same goes for red indians.
hollulululull!!

sarawak

2009-12-17T21:02:00.000-08:00

OMG! this place has internet connection!!
okayy. so am here in sarawak.im alone in the lobby area blogging.okay,i swear im freaking restless without internet.
so far trip is good.summary:
1)airasia has freaking small seat that can render you claustrophobic.i swear!i dont think im THAT fat.
2)My first night was at damai puri resort,by the beach. freaking pretty.loves!
3)first evening was at spent on cruise(a.k.a boat that could seat max 20 pax)
i freaking saw fireflies!theyre effing pretty lahhh!!!
4)today morning was spent at cultural houses.saw the dayaks.the imban(/iban?)were pretty and good-looking lahh! so sexy dayaks. saw one who looks like my nyayi. they even have skulls which look rotten.
5)checked in to another resort
6)just came back from seafood dinner.
7)tomorrow will be trekking in the forest.which i foresee will be stalled and completed slow!
because..
my trip is filled to the brim with freaking makciks who walk slowly and complain to every single thing!wth.

fyi,sarawak ppl are mostly imbans(dayaks) who are mostly civilised.2nd largest grp is chinese followed by malays.
sarawak has none to very little indians,deepavali not recognised as public holiday!!!

sarawak ppl do not honk when there is a bus blocking their one way street,theyd infact squeeze their cars- one wheel on the road, the other on the curb!
and even though they look,speak and act like malays,theyre not really malays,theyre imbans.cool or whoat?
kay uh bye.

off

2009-12-15T10:37:00.000-08:00

in airport now.
and im off.

quick update

2009-12-14T13:40:00.000-08:00

1. meeting ahmad in an hours time to watch bulan baru(new moon)
2.will be flying off in 2 days time thus missing out on gems project(yay?!!)
3.excited benorr for something.
4.had a great time shopping with bffs.
5.im sorry about jennifer's chaichai. =(

6.Happy Advanced 17 to Syamsi the best bitch evaaaa!!
just in case i cant go online tonight.

30

2009-12-09T22:50:00.000-08:00

30 ketolzz.
part ni aku sayang abang aku.
hahhhh!!!
aku macam excited gilerrr for monday!

iphone

2009-12-09T21:37:00.000-08:00

aku nak iphone laahh!

aku nak aku nak aku nak!!

im on holiday mood.saw the itinerary already.ahhh!!

i suddenly feel like petting a cat.

okay itab.go.

PN

2009-12-04T00:24:00.000-08:00

hehh.

my idea of orgasmic.

you dont need pornography,

when you have paolo nutini.

well hell! it rhymes.

boobs

2009-12-03T22:31:00.000-08:00

fat girls with huge juggs with deep cleavage,should not wear low-cut dresses that showcases each boob jiggle and bounce when they walk down the stairs.this coming from an equally fat girl with somehow not such as big boobs as yours.could be that you're disgustingly huge or that im jealous im lacking in the chest department.as i should not be.most probably,its not the latter.

so boy,you finally opening up that youre coming out the closet?boy!we all have known and suspected it since you were 13.damn,youre ugly.if i were a gay guy,id not go for you.because a)you are ugly.b)youre teeth arent straight(i have things with not straight teeth)c)gays are supposed to be cute,if gays turn out to be you,gays would go extinct.

oooo,bitchy arent we?i guess its a celebration?since i lost 2kilos in 3 days.

so i was sick.big deal.2kilos are 2kilos of weight off my legs.

hurts

2009-12-01T23:01:00.000-08:00

everything hurts.

hurts so bad.

i wanna sleep.

and cry.

pity party.

sick

2009-11-30T13:16:00.000-08:00

i feel fuggly.my head is spinning,my nose is running.my eye bags are at their best,my dark eye rings are prominent.my face is puffy and fat.im tired of sneezing 7 times in 15 seconds.i have no mood to do anything,i am cranky.i feel hideous.i feel fucking ugly.

doctor,i need you.fix me.

sweet

2009-11-29T03:16:00.000-08:00

alahh,sweet or whaat?hahahhhh!

project tomorrow.

i cant sleep now.

i had a nap.

taking lrt tomorrow.

virgin or whoaat??

ahmad totally flooded my comp with his pics.

and they are still pics of him.

sometimes i just dont get people.

I.JUST.DONT.

i think im menstruating.

in 3,2,1..NOW.

hahhh.like scary movie 3 like that.

okay hellogoodbye- here in your arms.

2012

2009-11-24T20:34:00.000-08:00

okay,i concede.this movie is good.i don't like genres of this kind,but yeah.this movie moved me to tears at a few scenes.

skipping school today to sit at home and watch harry potter which is very clear!

bgr

2009-11-24T19:46:00.000-08:00

this shitz is delish! current fave. currently looking down on pocky choc sticks. this is better,thicker chocolate.gaaahhhh.

although it only comes with 10 sticks in a box,and i love the wrapper.

addictive siaaaal.

i have boxes of this stash somewhere...

IMY JO NG. come back sooooon.

you

2009-11-17T20:34:00.000-08:00

you are pretty,talented,have a lovely voice,turns him on,sweet and funny.
if i were to leave this post to him,it'd be filled with adjectives so flowery you can see buds blooming.
im glad you are together.
so why cant i stop following your every single move?
could it be im scared you'd break his heart?
sighh.

boo

2009-11-17T20:19:00.000-08:00

my life is sad.
i dont watch the tube(television),thats why im sad.
i dont eat fruits,thats why im sad.
i dont know which mrt station is in which line,and can only differentiate with colours,thats why
sad.
i am fat,thats why im sad.
i wont take to advice thats why im sad.
i hate looking at my mirror image,thats why im sad.
i feel sometimes that im extremely rude and mean and hideous,thats why im sad.
my boobs are ugly and small for a fatso,thats why im sad.
im not very smart,thats why im sad.
i have only 7bucks left in my bank,thats why im sad.
i hate the weighing scale,thats why im sad.
i constantly lie to people,thats why im sad.
lately,ive been having too much thoughts,thats why im sad.
and in these thoughts,id build imaginary happy endings,thats why im sad.

today i created a song for a friend to the tune of jingle bells and begged everyone to hear me sing.
no one did,so i sang it loudly to my irritated classmates.

Happy advanced Birthday Jeannie!

paranormal activities2

2009-11-14T12:47:00.000-08:00

just read jeannie's blog.
paranormal activites is not a true story.
now i feel stupid for screaming to a fake ghost story.
but then again,i always scream at all fake horror movies.
sigh.

paranormal activities

2009-11-14T12:35:00.000-08:00

i caught it last night with my classmates.fuck.i was scared till i almost went hysterical.the most scariest part,to me,was when katie said" we'll be okay now" and she smiled and went to sleep.
fuck!
i screamed countless times and pulled wei jie's clothes and the middle portion of the cinema turned to look at me when i shouted.
feeling-feeling uh abit.

after the movie i couldn't stop thinking about it.so i called up ahmad and talked for an hour.on my hp,outgoing somemore.so had a great time with me insinuating he's gay,trying to make him be gay and still not succeeding.whats up with gays?i just want one gay bff.then we'll talk fashion and boys and everything!and we'll be each other's dates and not worry about being alone.

anyhoos,i couldn't sleep at night.i keep thinking PARANORMAL ACTIVITIES.and i was sleepoing facing towards the door.so i kept waking up in the middle of the night.once,i woke up to my bedroom door open,when i know it was closed beforer i went to sleep.my heart beat so quickly but i kept silent.then early in the morning,someone was knocking the side of my bed.i woke up,scared,only to see my sister's legs banging the side of the bed.
then the hall lights were switched on,and i saw a figure passing by my bedroom.it was my dad.-.-

i think the movie is scary though you cant see the ghost.especially the part where katie got pulled out from the bed.damn!

2009-11-12T20:36:00.000-08:00

nightmare on Elm street or whoat?

justin bieber

2009-11-10T22:10:00.000-08:00

because he is my one secret guilty pleasure,i wouldn't admit myself to anyone that i secretly listen to his songs and view his videos with a stupid,cheeky smile plastered on my face.
and when people discuss him,i'd roll my eyes and snort so people would think i'm cool.
but secretly,i'm his numero uno fan.
he is soo cute!

smile

2009-11-10T19:18:00.000-08:00

saw this on jan's tumblr.
i want a tumblr too.

death

2009-11-09T21:05:00.000-08:00

before i die,i would like to
-scubadive
-paraglide(without a boat dragging me this time(yes,i have paraglided))
-make out with a badass biker.
-ride a harley(FAG!)
-go to rome/greece/paris/egypt
-go to the louvre and see da vinci's mona lisa
-write a book
-host a cooking show
-speak better malay

fom

2009-11-08T21:21:00.000-08:00

i know nuts about FOM.
*hurls.
since everyone is moving away from blogger,maybe i should too.

pancing

2009-11-08T20:16:00.000-08:00

a hot sunny sunday spent fishing.and the sign said,no adult fishing.bleahh.whateverr.i am so proud of catching an orange fish.boy,they're fast.
No,thats not my buttcrack.thats my belt.

I can transform you,like a transformer.

fatter

2009-11-05T22:22:00.000-08:00

the reason im getting fat-ter.and my thighs are now thunder.and i'm disgustingly ugly.

time to work out?soon.i've never been one who goes for excercise.i'm the one who reads by the beach and dreams sappy dreams.

cuddle me close.as close as your hands can close around my huge waistline.i sound like im pregnant.oh,how i wish.at least there's a reason to getting fat.

sorry

2009-11-03T22:37:00.000-08:00

i don't wanna be involved.i don't wanna be the reason why.i don't wanna be the catalyst to the start of something bad.i don't wanna call attention to myself in that way.the only way people should be thinking about me is the fat girl who makes me laugh with her witty sarcasm.huhh.
yes,i was upset.

in these times,i miss my brother.the weekend seem too short for us.it makes me feel sorry for all those times i hated you.i don't quite mind if mom cooks nice food for the weekend just to welcome us home.hell,i even miss your punches you smellyfeet.and you're not even coming home this weekend.im stuck.i don't understand my parents.i don't wanna talk to a sister who is younger than me by 7 years.who can i turn to then?

"Love pull me down, Hate lift me up".
cheesy don't you think huh breaking benjamin?too corny.

hell,i even hate the word corny because it reminds me of you.i'm sorry.i'm not in the best of mood.

i went shopping a little while ago.i got myself makeup and panties.there were two leopard prints ones.so cute.
so i discuss panties.big deal.

when you say its alright,i'm afraid it would'nt be.i'm scared.aren't you?

busy

2009-11-02T20:30:00.000-08:00

im too busy getting hooked on icy tower,a game which i dont quite love. bleachhh.competitiveness strikes in me at the wrong times.

class outing tmr.
fri:ahmads birthday celebration.cant wait.i miss everyone.last time i saw izzati was on my surprise party.boohoohoo.

roflrazzi

2009-10-31T15:46:00.000-07:00

when im bored,and in need of a laughter.
imyvm.

flirt

2009-10-29T22:44:00.000-07:00

today,i went to school alone since syamsi declined to go with me. in the end i got my ass groped by an uncle whose feathery light touches on my ass froze me for a second.scary thought.and just when i was feeling-feeling sexaayy.or maybe it was just a figment of my imagination.but i seriously think he groped me.naughty uh.

today,for GEMs,i don't know what we did and still do not know what we talked about.i know there were counselling stuff.but whatfuck.

today,after GEMs,went Mcds for lunch.then,i flirted with a chem processing senior(year3) at the counter of Mc just because i do not want to queue up to redeem a small fries which my friends won for the monopoly thing. he redeemed it for me.so sweet. as such,i shall love all chem processing ppl for a day starting in 2 minutes time.

today,after school,went to lot1 to wait for shu hui wher we discussed grave matters while bitching about people.okay,so mostly i was bitching.i'm mean.and nasty.and cynic.still wanna be friends?

today was a fruitful day.what would tomorrow bring?veggies?
-.-

i wanna say a happy advanced 17 to my bestfriend,
AHMAD.
i wouldnt wanna type in colours and big fonts coz he is not reading this.bleahh.sms lah.

dumb

2009-10-25T21:21:00.000-07:00

sometimes,i act so dumb,i embarrass myself even when i know im alone.
so i bought new sanitary pad for my menstruation.
i got myself a new brand instead of the usual,because i thought to myself,i wanna try something new before i died.
so as i sat on the toilet bowl in the toilet(duh,toilet bowl-toilet),i opened the packaging.
i asked myself,why is this thing so thick?
compared to my usual kotex stuff which is thin.
i like my pads to be dry-weave and not the cotton one.
so this one is dry-weave too.
so then i looked closely at the pad and saw that the sticky side has "another pad".
so i thought maybe this pad is like those pantyliners i see on tv ads where there is another layer after you peel the first one.
so i tried peeling off the first layer.
and as i started,i saw that im actually dismembering my pad,and that there is no extra layer of pad.
the pad is naturally thick.
FML.

yeahhh

2009-10-25T20:02:00.000-07:00

HELLO!
im a lazy fucktard but who cares?so,yesterday,had another surprise mini.
was supposed to meet shu hui,told to walk all the way to the centre of the cabin where i was "surprised" by jo and christine.then trained to bugis,where they brought me to seoul garden for s treat.heee!!im getting fat-ter.anyways,went in and saw soon seng,ming hong and yong sen!hahhh.surprised?definitely.
so thank you guys for an awesome day and night.thank you for watching me cry.thank you for the sword.
yes,if you look at the pictue,properly,im holding a plastic sword they got me after spending an hour in the arcade in Iluma.ahhaa.it was my birthday present.thanks!

okay,ill recount my birthday.my birthday date itself was a boredom.but!my birthday in general was great.
THANKS alot for the sweet,sappy sms and facebook messages.

so the m2 gang.
-Izzati told me the night before on thurs,151009,that she fought with her bf and wanted me to accompany her watch her bf play soccer while a mutual friend wanted to discuss with them about their relationship.Since the mutual friend was more closer to the bf,i agreed to accompany her to be on her side or somewhat.
so then,we met at RP on fri,161009.
being clueless,i dont know stuff about RP.
she brought me up a slope(tiring!) because she said she was hungry while i talked to her about stuff.so then she brought me to this building,then she said hey,look there.
i turned,and saw a couple bottle of drinks.i didnt see the cake.then i saw movements.
and my friends since sec 1 jumped out from where they were hiding and said "SURPRISE!!".
and being the loser that i am,i burst into tears.hahhh.
sweeet!
i hugged everyone except muslim.he doesnt want my hug.hahh.too bad lorr.
so i got a Ripcurl,tote cum sling,a shawl and a headphone!
love it!

on thursday,the same day,i was actually out at vivo with jannah.walked,accompanied her get her bag at topshop,ate ljs,ate ben and jerrys and shopped like hell at diva!i so love it lahhh!

monday the 121009,met with jan and syaf.
jan got to my house and we te cup noodles with coke(a must have when we gather) and watched stupid scary movies which we rented.got ready,met syaf at cwp for our movie.
since she was from school,she was in her uniform.so i started a lie based on the old rules from timezone.
i told her,no student admissions after 6.since she was in her uni and all,i was like what if you cant go in?
so made our way to pastamania for dinner, where she tried putting her bigass paperclip on the logo on her pocket.so then she was like go cotton on,find cheap clothes uh.but since we all claimed to have no more money,we went to value shop to buy a $3 shirt.and we all chipped in money for the shirt.off to the toilet to change,then we snapped pictures.i couldnt hold my laughter.
so we told her about the lie when we were in the theater already.and we laughed like fuck.
Phobia 2 was a shit.i hated every single part of it.it was gory and i closed my eyes at every bloody scene.hahh.

my SP classmates so sweet! they got me a bag,a teddy bear who has been sleeping next to me every night since,a box of toblerone chocs which im conserving,2 necklaces and a bangle. thank you!heeee!

i watched my sister's keeper yesterday at Iluma.and for the whole about 2 hours show,i cried for the whole two hours. i cried for the lost of love,for the hopeless thought that she'd live.i cried when anna said"My sister died that night".i cried so noisily that when the lights were on,everyone turned to look at me.and my eyes were so red,and my tissue so wet,that i had no more tissues except the wet variety which i took from seoul garden.its a good show,and i wanna watch again,this time with ahmad.i wanna cry like fuck.
its so sad,that when i tried explaining to jo and shu hui, i teared up again.
really poignant.

birthday

2009-10-21T17:24:00.000-07:00

BABY IM BAAAACCCCKKKKK!!!

sure,it took me to grow a year old before i blogged.
so much have happened.
last week was a blast,i watched phobia2 with cuzzies.love it!
my friends succumbed under pressure to finally give me a surprise birthday party.love them!
i started school with crappy timetable.allowance has started its course.love money!
i watched imagine that! yesterday with shu hui.love her!
im going out with her again this sat.love again!
things have been hectic,ive been busy.
okay scratch that,ive been lazy.
yes assholes,i get lazy.thats what you get for being FAT.
soo,i dont feel like elaborating anything today.
since its my birthday,i can do anything i want.
ma's gonna treat me pizza.
i'm gonna go for tuition sleepy.

Birthdays make me weepy.I feel very teary.I've caught myself with watery eyes so many times today.I love my SP classmates for making me embarrassed by singing me a birthday song while i stand in the middle of the class.I finsihed school at 12.I went home straight,went out for lunch takeaway,read,slept and here i am.This year,my birthday is a bleahhh.Anticipation breaks away for disappointment.I found out that a)Im STILL fat,b)I don't have a boyfriend and c)Im not rich either.ahhha.I have not made a birthday wish this year.Heack,i didn't even stay up till 12 last night.My first thoughts when i woke up was,"It's my birthday today.Hmm.Tired uh,sleep lah."
Yes,sad,but true.I wanna thank everyone who gave me birthday wishes,be it on fb or through sms,i wanna thank my classmates for the song,my closest friends for the party.And i wanna thank God,that i made it through 17 years of living.Wow!No more snickers at me for still being young.Now i'm snickering at those still 16.Hahh.Another year,and i'm still childish.

HONEYY,I'M SEVENTEEN ALREADY!

party smarty

2009-10-11T16:51:00.000-07:00

idah made me cry on the phone just now.i realised that my hopes and dreams of having a surprise party are for naught.as such,im no longer hoping and dreaming.i'll pine for one for sure.but naah,im not getting any.sad?you bet'cha i am.in five minutes time,i shall do whatever i want to do.for now,let me bring on the works.

goodbye.

so what,im superficial and don't prioritise well.but i don't care.i'm a sad,sad girl.

birthdayku

2009-10-09T09:56:00.000-07:00

OMGOMGOMG!!!

suddenly,i was like super excited for my upcoming birthday.

my heart pounded against my ribcage(aiyahh,science facts not true your problem lah).

my eyes widened and i had difficulty in breathing properly.

ahhhhh!!

i shall blog properly in an hours time.

or not.

heeeeee!

i shall dance my merry dance now.

this picture is scandalous but i love it.

AAAAAAHHHHH!

12 more days.

fat girl - judith moore

2009-10-08T09:56:00.000-07:00

yesterday went to the library to help a close friend pen a love letter to his girl.

and i must say those words i penned, were so sweet that if you were to give it to me,i'd cry.

as such,im calling out for those clueless who'd wanna pen down love letters for their current loved ones,to come forward for i charge measly sum of money for sweet moments to bring to your girl/boy.

since i was at the library,i borrowed this memoir by Judith Moore.

her story intrigued me right from the first chapter's first sentence.

she began with "You're too fat to fuck".

and my heart went crashing as i read on.

its about how she consistently goes on a diet and walks every morning,yet,her weight keeps yo-yo-ing up and down.

and sometimes,i feel her.

like really,i feel her sadness and her disappointment,her disgust.

and sometimes,we have the same thought too.

i'll type down those words i really share with her.

I fantasize rapid weight loss: "Now if I lose one pound per day for thirty days, I can fit into my pale blue dress with the middy collar or button up my blouse that's printed with tiny goldfish."

I like to imagine that i am having liposuction. A masked doctor vacuums fat from my belly and thighs and unspeakably huge butt. A glass vat next to the operating table fills with tubs o' lard, and the doctor, voice muffled by his mask, tells his nurses that he's siphoned forty pounds out of me.

As the line grew shorter, as child after child was measured and weighed, he or she went to stand at the back of the room. "Don't fidget," the teacher might say, or, "No talking. Shh."

I wanted to bolt. I couldn't. I bowed my head, I gazed at my boy's FFFF-width brown oxfords. I kept count as one after another child got weighed. I hoped the A-bomb would fall or a fire would start before the nurses got to me.

this book is sad,hurtful and true.

i hope it doesn't happen to me.

boyfriend.

2009-10-06T16:06:00.000-07:00

it seems that i only get out from my bed to bathe when i find it necessary to go out.

say,yesterday,i bathed at 12 to go to the library and today at around 12 to go to Fairprice.

i got myself some brunch!

i made some creamy chicken mushroom soup(DUH!can.) and bought garlic spread.

so i had soup with garlic bread.

super yummy!and fulfilling.

since i've been sad these few days,i got myself a self-help book from the library yesterday.

it a girlfriend's guide to getting the skinny on fat.

meaning, it tells us(me,mostly since im the reader) about the misconceptions about weights.

and i don't want to lose weight,rather i want to lose my fat content.

and the best form of excercise is anaerobic excercise which doesnt use oxygen.

when your muscles gets oxidised,you will lose it.

thus you dont see bulky,muscular athletes running,rather,thin lean and mean people running.

makes sense huh?

i found out that im not obese by calculating my BMI.

omgzz.

im'ma start walking far since walking is the basic form of excercise.

and drink lots of water.

but all these,shall start after thursday.

thursday's the day im meeting with jo and shu hui for a round or two or many at seoul garden.

excercise can wait.

im a procrastinator at heart.

private

2009-10-05T10:22:00.000-07:00

dear god help me.
i cant stop thinking.
i cant stop reviewing.
i cant stop.
maybe this is why i tell myself.
i always fall for the wrong guys.
they're always attached,gay or just plain wrong.
i wanna detached myself from the world.
my main and current goal will be,work,study and just hang out with girls.
maybe this should be a reason for me to go lessie.
huhhh.

marina barrage

2009-10-05T09:06:00.000-07:00

picnics have never created such beautiful photos.

jannah,i upload at fb,then you go grab.

im not tagging.

and i just made a revelation.

omg.

omgomgomg.

hahhhhhhh.

D-Day countdown: 16

huhh.

2009-10-01T13:30:00.000-07:00

maybe because you think i'm easy,you stuck close.

maybe because i gave you the time of the day,you stuck close.

maybe because you thought i'd never have anyone to be with me,you stuck close.

or maybe it was just me and i stuck close.

huhh.

i turn fluff-brained when you do that.

and then i think and i thought and i realised maybe its just a trick of the eye.

or maybe you're not that much of a man.

or maybe.

i dont know,maybe you don't have respect enough for me.

but no matter what.

we've been through alot,and i meant it.

i still love you but not love love but love respect.

only thing is,i need to stop my heart from beating that hard and fast.

i just don't get myself.

im'ma lay here with my new boyfriend.

huhh.you thinking what im thinking?i think you are.cheers mate.

pic 1st day syawal

2009-09-26T14:02:00.000-07:00

1st day of raya.started of with thick waterproof makeup as advised by jannah who foresaw rainy hours ahead. you so know your glue is not good when your lashes wont stick after crying.bleahhhhh.so i took it off.gave my real lashes a few curls of mascara which i detest wearing because of hard painstaking time to remove it. whatev. im superficial for talking makeup.

family picture.

JOY!! SAME RIGHT? same not?idk if you still remember. sorry i took so long coz either the plant was not flowering or i wasnt anywhere near the camera. yayyy!! high-five from Singapore!

life in plastic is fantastic!i look so fake. so does jan. see how her ear sticks out? i love you too.

everyone not ready but i look so nice.

still somewhat ugly picture for everybody but not me.

and then they came into their correct position and yep! that time itself my face was priceless.shikin was shouting in my ear.ear blasting scream.

first day raya was okay.cried,hugged everyone in my maternal side coz we are pretty close.compared shoes which were all from C&K.gossipped like little girls.yay.

i cant wait for raya with the M2s.i love them.

dinner will be at PH for mom's early "35th" birthday since big brother has to book in tomorrow when her bday is on monday.i got her a 100bucks bag.which i share with my sister in a ratio of 9:1. im 9.bleahhh.big bro is gonna treat us!i wanna eat the super subs. looking deeeelicious.

No wonder im fat.

whatever.

phones

2009-09-26T00:49:00.000-07:00

i am so pathetic right now, im drooling over phones. and im not even THAT into technology and shitzz.i think i have good news. but maybe i'll keep it to myself first before i say it lest i jinx it. but i so can't wait for it.

i think i overspent today.god help me i am not a thrifty enough.

samsung b7320

2009-09-25T21:51:00.000-07:00

Dear SANTA A.K.A DADDY,

i so want this okay? for my upcoming birthday.

Set.

I LOVE YOU ABAH!

movies

2009-09-24T15:33:00.000-07:00

fyoooh!two days and two movies and no money left.thats what im talking.

so caught the proposal.not much choice of cinema left since the shows not showing much anymore.went yishun GV.and i just realised how pathetic the seatings are.and i voiced out real loud since there were only two couples in the room.
-my knees can touch the front seat.
-i cannot do a 360 turn without banging into seat beside ,in front and behind me.
-the seats are too close apart that i asked ahmad if it was me that is fat or the seats that are too close.

romantic comedies are great if you have a partner to lean on and cry your sappy tears.so i made do with ahmad.hah!it wasnt even that sad,but it made me tear up a little.laughed at the morning reaction part.
i still think ugly truth is better.

this post might be alot better if i put up a picture of me and ahmad but all i have are ugly pics or blurred ones.bleachhhhhh.

so after movie dropped to CWP to buy something for mum in Cold Storage.and wonder of wonders!that cashier boy was free.so i braced myself and went right up to him.we even had a conversation.

he said Hi. i smiled real huge. he scanned my item.i said i dont need a plastic.he said oh. he gave me receipt.i went out with a huge smile plastered on my face. this could be the basis of a relationship of what has yet to come.

i am so pathetic its a no brainer why i dont have a boyfriend.hahhh.all so drama over a small thing.ALTHOUGH,i got his name.ahahaha.

im done.G'day!

walter

2009-09-23T12:16:00.000-07:00

Dear Walter,
Why is it that i gag when i brush my tongue, but not when i give my boyfriend oral sex?
~Well obviously, your toothbrush is bigger.

LOL!!
pics coming soon when i get my hands on the camera.my GPA sucks.alot.bleahhhhhhhhhh.

P.S Ugly Truth is damn funny.went with jan.hahhhh!!Gerard Butler's hands are mean thick.scary.reminds me of Hulk's hands.

raye

2009-09-17T22:54:00.000-07:00

I AM SO TIRED!

and i dont even know what i've done.

i woke up at near 11,lazed till 12.

went to the bank to cash in my 600 bucks.

yes,i got the bursary,but no,i cant use it and yes,what the hell!

then i went home.

lazed on the bed till about 5.

cooked.

break fast.

and off i go to tuition.

the girl is always tired and yawning.she refuses sweet.the boy who schools in the afternoon looks more fresh than her.i cant keep buying stuff for them.oh well.you snooze,you lose.

i got my raya shoes already.open-toed sling back heels.black suede with gold and a faux snakeskin print in the middle.am i happy?UBER SHITZZZ.

i was tied between the black silk open toed and this one.and i chose this.worth it.

my clothes may be ugly but my shoes rock.and i'll be like the female lead in Bet Me.

ive got no idea whyh im blogging.but what the hell.i miss my brother.i wanna see him shaved.

then i wanna ask him about his platoon mate who is super ha-ha-hot.shaved-head-buff-bodied-tattoed-and-pierced man turns me on.okay.tmi.

p.s Idah and me (okay,so most of it was me) kept going CS to totally check him out.babeeehhhhh,he speaks my mother tongue.though his voice isnt like sexyvoice's. but hell yummy.

my life in ruins

2009-09-15T01:27:00.000-07:00

its on days like this that i look forward to.being able to post in colour and pictures.sighhh.

so,my phones a-okay.damn,that phones good.i dropped it in water twice.once in the school toilet bowl,another the one i just blogged about.

So i just watched My Life in Ruins.its a good romantic comedy.gives you the buzz you feel after you enjoyed a show.i liked it v much.

and i wanna honeymoon in Greece.so pretty.

im off.till next time when you see my post in colour and you see pictures.if not,make yourself comfortable with black on white coz its the only one i got.

five days to raya,and i still need to hem my clothes,sew buttons,find shoes.and be ready to ask for forgiveness.damn thats cutting it just fine.

dammit

2009-09-14T15:46:00.000-07:00

i hate karma.karma loves me.

today started off wrong.
-i was woken up by a wrong number asking if i was an agent.and it was 945.thats my earliest waking period eversince hols started!and i only slept at 3.GAAAAHHHH!!!

-received an sms of house chores to do.

-watched midnight bayou.it sucked.i didnt like it.i like the book but not the movie.cast were ugly.story did not follow plot.declan was supposed to find the time piece in the antique shop,not on lena's neck,stupid.

-i took a bath at 3.i wanted to listen to songs while bathing.guess whose phone dropped into a pail of bleach water?and whose phone memory card's memory is gone?and whose phone keeps asking insert SIM card when its already in there?

wont i ever learn?phones do not belong in the toilet.now the stupid buggers asking me to insert SIM.
im angry and scared.damn it laahhhhhh.
serve me right to go gloating about fatin's lost phone.

tweeze me.

2009-09-13T23:50:00.000-07:00

i'm having a relationship with my tweezer.and its very painful.so,very.
i think im dumb.
yes,i think only.
when i want to take abolution for prayers,i'd say the niat for puase.
and it'd be halfway through the niat before i realise it.
and of course,it has happen twice.
and sometimes,instead of al-fatihah,i'd read the doa makan.
yes,i admit.selenger much?

fatin has lost her phone!yes,in less than a week since she has gotten one,she has managed to lose it to someone who might or might not have stolen it.i tried calling the phone,but number not availabe.
im trying my heart not to gloat to mama.serves her right.who in the right mind would wanna give a big responsibility to a 10 year old?duuuudee!
i got my first phone in sec 3.and that too was second hand.yes i admit.my current phone is my first, firsthand phone.so what???i paid 80 bucks to abah okay.
so its technically paid by me.

damn,mum;s requiring me to transfer 100 to our joint account.to start "saving" as she said.
im left with 40 bucks in my account.why must she interfere in matters of the moolahs?

im so not looking forward to Raya.its just another year,another Raya.i still have no baju.yes,mum hasnt finish sewing the top.i have no shoes.im bargaining with dad for allowance to get my shoes.but funny,in terms of makeup,im there already.bought eyeshadow.im recycling bags.

i still do not see whats the big hoo-haa about nasi ayam penyet.i dont see the reason why people pay so much and queue so long to get a plate.its just rice with fried chicken thats flattened.dude!i can cook much nicer tomyam than what you're eating.no link but wtvr.

im watching midnight bayou online.its based on nora roberts book which i recently just borrowed.its good.seriously.you should read.lets see how the movie compares to the book.
Night yall.

dont burst my bubble

2009-09-11T22:51:00.000-07:00

i went out.sat at the bus stop.stared into space.teared a little.why am i so teary?
i wish i had someone to see me burst into tears.all this pity party is pathetic.and sad too.aww.

got at the bust stop by 10.tuition was good.they did their homework.success!
saw a cat.those normal orange one.petted it.it jumped on the seat next to me.it laid on four paws while i stroked it.i like seeing cats shrivel up in ecstacy when you stroke its fur.

on the way home,bumped into syamsi.ive been seeing him since wed.dragged him to send me home.best boy.

what started as sucky ended good.please ma,don't burst my bubble.let me live in this fragile space for awhile.i'll come out soon,i promise.

gone

2009-09-10T23:27:00.000-07:00

so said goodbye.damn i cried.laughed it all of later in the eve.im tired.so drop dead tired.funny.i slept a whole lot today.

i've got my eyes on you,mr cold storage cashier.now im'ma do my grocery shopping at CS.hahhhh.sungguh sexyyy.

it seems as if i have a distinctive laugh that people when hear it assumes its me.and they are most probably right.time to change to a new track farhanah.

okay.ta.

my heart

2009-09-09T23:24:00.000-07:00

what the hell!i typed so much.and it got deleted away.thanks blogger.i love you too.

so today tuition got cancelled.iwasnt told.went all the way only to ring the doorbell 4 times and no one answered.fed up and not wanting to go home,met jan and syaf at kfc.laughed and gossiped like girls.past tense of hit is either hitted or hat or hut or hot.

so yesterday's plan of watching time travellers wife fell through.instead made way to plaza sing's GV to watch i love you,beth cooper. story line was crap.in fact life! gave it 1.5/5.but it was filled with comedy.i laughed my way through.kind of sadistic to laugh at the guy getting his fingers cut by the wire,eyes got popped by the champagne's cork,beaten up by beth's boyfriend and gotten slammed by beth's rear end.

while waiting for the movie,went carrefour to compare dick sizes by choosing cocktail or jumbo sausages.and zhaolin had a theory of the sizes of man's feet reflecting the sizes of their dicks.hoo boyy..laughed till i about crapped in my pants.

okay,so maybe its immature of me to make lame sex jokes.but hey,whatever works okayy??

tomorrow abang is leaving for ns.doesnt affect me anyhow.

but cant wait for my buka outing!

ouh and i can post pics at home!and change font colour.yay!so new skin.boring siaaa.

malibu dream team

2009-09-08T03:24:00.000-07:00

im still up.
i just finished watching bring it on:Fight to the Finish.oooh boy.
latin moves.aiiii mamiiii!!
christina milian looks quite alot like rihanna with long hair.her bodys the sex lorr.
and cody longo is extrememly hot.
while izzati has it good for blondes with blue eyes,i go for brunettes with dark eyes.tres sexy aye?
and brandon gonzales is cute.shaved head and tall and hot too.
ahahhaa.their cheer routines are really breath-taking.i dont know nuts about cheer,but i reckon they're good.
okay,i dont think imma go to sleep yet.sahur is in an hours time.so might as well watch another movie aye?

fuck youtube,

2009-09-07T22:29:00.000-07:00

well fuck youtube for deleting the season 1 of friends.i was just catching up on it.ooo0hh!!!im sooo pissed lahhh!now what am i gonna dooooooo??im bored.no books.damn.

hahhh

2009-09-07T22:10:00.000-07:00

i kinda,sorta,think that i might like my new skin.hahh.
so i changed the font size.im such a loser,i dont know how to edit the size on the template.so yeah.
i hope this appeals to y'all whose eyesight have been spoilt due to reading too much.

so whats new?nothing.my life is kinda crap.idah,kite keluar after raya horr?coz its too hot to go out now without wanting a can of coke.and im kinda.....broke.hehhh.

my life sucks.i need a boyfriend.

yelah

2009-09-01T20:28:00.000-07:00

i cant wait to start fasting again.due to red light,im not.damn,i wished it came later.i wanna satisfy my cravings but i just dont have enough time.my period's gonna end soon.damn.

i spent yesternight on a crying jag.it seems ive cried a million lifetime's of tears yesternight.it went on till an hour.i cried from that nights fucked up event,to somewhere back.from losing a bff to fucking up my EC to being wrongfully accused to being chosen second to losing SH.hahh yeahh.still not over SH.can somebody say loser?i think i cleansed myself.hell i even cried listening to paolo.i think i should stop reading books.its giving me ideas that i believe will never happen.

someone said my blog entries are depressing.reson being i only update when im upset.when im ultra happy,i have no mood to blog.bleachhhh. WOE IS ME.I IS WOE.deal with it suckersssssss!!!

i wanna go shopping.but im in no mood.too hot.too far.too lazy.too tired.

i suit being a loner.i went to bugis all by myself to use the national library just to study for econs.alone.beat that you morons who wont go out alone.beat that couples who are so lovey-dovey and wont let go of each others hands only if its urgent that the other party has to go to the toilet.and that too you have to wait outside the ladies.beat that dudessssss!

ahhhhh..exams are overrrr.i think i'll fail PACC.i dont think i'd be on the honour roll.like fun eh if ure on the honour roll?

im tired.really tired.im skipping meals even when im not fasting.im too lazy to eat.ouh and i hid a bottle of coke in my wardrobe.shhh.its all mine.this reminds me,i need to make a stop to famous amos to get my cookie stash.if only cwp has famous amos ehhhhh.

im renting CDs.if only my CD shop rents out friends seasons then i'd be happy.

birthday,please come soon.i wanna celebrate.i want presents.i want cake.i want a surprise birthday party.i want it yesterday.

Hormones must have overriden and took over my mind.i cried recently while reading Readers' Digest.those old copies.its about this lady who lost her husband to 9/11 bombings.and the husband called her on the plane phone to say goodby to her.

' "Hi",he said. "Liusten,there are some bad men on the plane."
"What do you mean?"
"These three Iranian guys took over the plane. They put on these red headbands. They said they had a bomb. I mean, they looked Iranian."
I was crying now, not completely irrational, but on the cusp.
"I love you," he said.
"I love you," I said. '

that part,it tore my heart and i cried.damn.i feel for her.imagine the love of your life,knowing he's about to die,called you to say goodbye,leaving you a widow and a three month old baby.wouldn't you feel sad?if i,i rather he not call me.i rather he just leave without saying goodbye.i hate goodbyes.they are vulgar.

why do we cry?and when we cry,why do we feel that cringing of your heart and it hurts and it makes you wanna cry again.and you sniffle and choke on your snot.have you ever looked in the mirror when you cry?i know im an ugly cryer.i hate people who are soo pretty,they cry prettily.

i borrowed a Jennifer Crusie book.i borrowed the first book i read from her.Bet Me.its a romantic comedy that is funny.filled with dry humour.i love dry humour.i think its the best book by Crusie.go!go grab one from the library shelfs.if libraries dont stock up their books,imma do the impossible.imma go to the bookshops and rent those books.damn.

the nearest book shop i know will be at Lot 1.sighhhh.

ok im done.long not?strain your eyes to read.blogging in idk how many days.if you're still craving for my entries,go read my archives.so much to read.okay done.bye.

fasting

2009-08-23T23:10:00.000-07:00

so fasting ready ehh?survived.not dead.YET.anyways,im craving for chocolate ice blended at each a cup.tomorrow.i'll buy tomorrow.

so today broke fast with bandung noodle.and crayfish!yes.crayfish.its like lobster but not lobster.slightyly cheaper than lobster.i remembered when i was young,we used to eat crayfish.sighhh.fine dining indeed.

two papers have gone.MOB was easy.im confident of passing!itab also!we sat in clumps at the main library.i was nearest to the window separating 01 and 02.i was hoping like hell it'd be sexyvoice sitting by the window.but!alas,its uglyboy sitting.ahahaha.thanks rita.

borrowed sseason 4 friends dvd.went to lib with izzati.she wanted to study.i watched friends and laughed till i cried.that was on last thurs.

then this thurs,went to betty's condo.why are my classmates filthy rich?her condo is super nice.her room is nicer!it's designed ala japanese room.wooden flooring with no bed.high floors with hidden table.i scratched myself on the table and now have a long blueblack mark.we played with her brothers guns and shot each other.funnehhhh!!

i was fasting that day and they ordered pizza hut.thin crust.my fave.i want!!!!and they kept trying to goad me to break my fast,but i held on.while waiting for the pizza,we went to the...

GYM!!izzati must be proud of me.she has started calling me fat.thanks bestfriend,I LOVE YOU TOO.so i did only the leg press and the thingy and a little running on the thingy coz i was not properly dressed.but i woke up the next day with sore buns.

tomorrow's accounts.im not quite ready.i just read.okay.im done.i wanna continue watching friends.

books

2009-08-18T23:20:00.000-07:00

today iafter school,i went all the way to yishun to get my lib books.i read one finish by 10.i threw it against the wall.rubbish.stupid story line.can't stand it.pissed.then i turned on my laptop,had to restart twice before i could get connection.thanks.

tomorrow's itab.come what may,i just give my best.i don't care much anymore.im not revising on top of the 3 revision i did just now.Word's not easy.just a lil confusing.im scared when i cant find the ribbon,i'd turn to Rita and ask her.like i always do.then i start to panic.then i start getting angry.then i'd be rolling out all the fucks and bitches.not good.since im thinking of fasting.might as well.two more days before the whole month starts.

one month.many have asked if i can endure the thought of fasting.dudes(and dudettes),ive fasted for so many years before i met you guys.okay,so maybe on occassion i break my fast and blame it on "feeling weak".and sometimes i'd extend my period days.yeah,but still i fast 3/4 of the month.i just hope i'd lose the much unneeded lumps of fats and it stays off.i bet you it comes right back on during Eid Mubarak.just you see.

with that,maybe i'd post more,maybe not.yeah yeah.im tired too of saying blogger's shitty.but truth is truth.so till next time.

nutini

2009-08-11T14:49:00.000-07:00

if i could have just anyone to sing to me before my soul parts my body,it would be him.

and ironically,the song i want would be last request.

his new songs are thick with his accent.

he's a scot.

i youtube-d hum last night.

and heard him singing what a wonderful world.

and the world had that twirling of tongue.

sighhhhh.

tomorrows presentation.

got my blouse.

now pants.

going g2000 again.

why do i always take the longest time to find my clothes????

from now on,im gonna post my entries in school.

since its the only way i can post with pictures and shitzz.

okay done.

im having the mother of all head aches.

NABEIIIIIIIIIIII!!!

i wanna play card again.

silent screams.

2009-08-10T22:54:00.000-07:00

i feel like telling someone something.but im afraid they'd laugh right into my face.but having these dreams are bad.its just imaginations.brain play.if dreams were like horses,beggars be riding already.but at times,my heart shrinks and it hurts and i wanna yell out loud.and i keep looking at people and wondering when it'd be my turn.because im sick of being alone and unconcerned.i can't tell anyone anything.my confidante has gone and disappear right in my very eyes.i miss you but i dont think you do me.fuck it.its over.still knotted and not untied.

IDAHS BDAY!

2009-08-09T22:04:00.000-07:00

blogger's a slut for not letting me post pictures.

Noridah Bte Suhaime turns 17 today.HAPPY BIRTHDAY.kau imagine lah kan,gambar kite berdue kat atas tu,muke tak senonoh.enjoy today banyak2.

on a sad,sad note.
i cant freaking stand rude people.ouh,and makciks who are old enough become my grammas who shave their eyebrows.setanding dengan minah2's kening.kening up down.waahhh.

FML

2009-08-06T22:14:00.000-07:00

fmylife.com is super funny.

"Today,Idropped my keys.Not wanting to lean over and pick them up,I pointed at them and said "Accio". Then I realised I ahd tried to use a Harry Potter spell in real life and in public."

zee avi

2009-08-02T23:40:00.000-07:00

Is this end?
Then why does it feel
We'd only just begun
I thought we were done

I think I'll hang on
If you still want me
But if you don't
I guess I'll move on

And if you need me
Close your eyes and dream
I'll give you back your key
But will you be happy?
Will you be happy?

Said we'll leave it alone
But I wont be here long
And when I'm gone
I guess then we'll know

-Zee Avi- First Untitled

dejavu much?

2009-08-02T22:18:00.000-07:00

5 years ago.
me:hey,which school you going?
A:Bukit Panjang Govt.High
B:Crescent Girls
C:Saint Margarets
they:you?
me:ouh,Marsiling.
they:ouh..um..okay.
us:keep in contact.we'll be bffl(best friends for life).no matter what happen,we'll be there for each other.

4 years ago.
i fell hard for a guy.got my heart crushed.i fell many times.hopes dashed.bffl?not there.

1 year ago.
me:study hard,then we'll go same school.
A:okay,we'll be friends.
me:i'm scared.i'm scared of making new friends.i'm scared of not making any.i'm scared i can't cope.i'm scared we'll be separated.i'm scared of changes.
B:don't worry.everything will be alright.we're bestfriends.keep in contact.always.i'll invite you to my wedding and me to yours.

this year.
begining of the year.making friends was a little tough.i don't know anyone.at all.i don't click yet.stick with one,you'll know the rest.i ask "bestfriends" out.sorry,not available.sorry,work.sorry,already made plans to watch movies with new classmates.sorry,tired.sorry,family plans.sorry,sorry,sorry.

dejavu much,Farhanah?
damn girl,when will you ever learn?
the term is just a base for an excuse and not quite real.
maybe we just aren't suited.
bestfriends?
snorts*

fucked.

2009-07-27T20:23:00.000-07:00

its funny how life works,does it not?for a while,i was real high up.then the next moment,barely 5 minutes im crying out.nowadays,i can't burst out crying like real crying.i always cover my cries with a laugh though my eyes water.i feel so... fake.why?i cant even be myself when im alone.the phrase "sticks and stones may break my bones,but words can never hurt me" does not ring true for me.i welcome sticks and stones over words.last time,when people teased me,i'd cry.then i'd tell myself,get immune.hurt back.but fuck it.it doesn't work.deep down i still hurt.i still am pissed.i still cry.i don't dare cry anymore because nobody would know what to do.my tears are worth much.if making it fall excites you then,that's that.im gonna have myself a good crying jig.

i got myself a job.income.

harry potter

2009-07-26T23:05:00.000-07:00

while most singaporeans are watching the match between singapore and liverpool,i was busy watching Harry Potter and The Order of Phoenix.is there a "the" before Phoenix?Anyways,FINALLY uhh.so,i was quite peeved with some parts.like how they don't show the part in the hospital where they saw Mr Weasly and Gilderoy Lockheart and the Longbottoms.and how Dumbledore used the fountain people during the aftermath of the battle between him and Voldemort.gaah.that was why i didnt wanna watch it.Harry Potter movies are always offtrack with the story.if i was the director,i'd be creating the movie,word by word and chapters by chapters.to my heart's satisfaction.yes,im a HP freak.i love them.okay,anyone has the series?Can lend?i promise to take care.i wanna read all over again.
please?

and i'm finding a partner to watch HP with me.i HAD someone in mind,but the person is currently nursing his very humongous ego streak and i don't wanna bother about him anymore.Syamsi?too bad izzati is off coz she's not a HP freak.i'd confirm go complaining about how this part and that isn't in the book,and she'd go huh???HP is BEST okay!!!wait for mama to treat me is like waiting for me to get a boyfriend.so long lah.not that im looking for one.no time.im too selfish to care about another.

EC's test tomorrow.alah,anyhow je.

WHEN I GROW UP,I WANNA LIVE IN A NICE CONDO.WHERE THERE ARE SWIMMING POOLS AVAILABLE FOR ME TO DIP THROUGH EVERYDAY.and for me to see flabby angmohs.we'd probably make friends and compare each cellulite and stretch mark we'd have.

hatelah

2009-07-25T23:10:00.000-07:00

I HATE YUHAN!!!FUCK HIM!!he won me in biotronics.fuck lah.do you know how long i took to get to that point?huh huh huh??ass.im so upset that this may make me not play biotronics anymore.im a sore loser.i so fucking admit it.grr.

you don't quite care about our stagnant condition do you.its true then.you have never cared enough to get pass your fucking image.so be it.

HOLY!IM PISSED!

faggots

2009-07-24T18:41:00.000-07:00

i hate fucking ugly mats who come to the library and make a nuisance of themselves.they'd make loud fake coughing sounds and then laugh it off with a loserish loud giggle.they'd do that just to show their friends how cool they are when we all know they are just making a huge fool of themselves.its laughable to see them act like their primate cousins in the zoo and then act as if they are fucking high and mighty.they'd button their shirts to the top and wear a cap in the sheltered zone.as if its blazing hot in here.wear a head scarve instead to cover that bed head yourself.

i cant stand fucking stupid singaporeans who don't behave properly in the library.they won't talk softly and would be obnoxious enough to reserve a table for themselves while they go off to lunch.excuse me,but didn't they say no reserving of seats.and to think that so many of singaporeans are degree holders.what?they cant be illiterate if they got their degrees.

i hate secondary/primary school girls who are fucking wannabes who go to the library and act cool.they'd be hanging out in the young adult section and start "doing their homework".please.and everyone knows they're just looking around for cute guys to ask for their numbers.and half of this kids are fucking ugly.they'd shave thin their eyebrows and fold their skirts.socks too long?pull them down.well,been there,done that,but no,i dont hang around in the library to ask for guy's numbers.kids nowadays are atrocious.don't their parents cane them anymore?

i hate it when a person's mobile rings and they forgot to switch it to silent mode.once is of course,forgiven.but twice and consequently?thats just mad irritating.and their ringtone ain't thos top hits songs,its those polyphonic ones.please,welcome to the new era where you hear beautiful sing-along songs when your mobile rings.

i just hate people who abuse their rights to the public library.no wonder the security guards are getting bitchier.security guards are making an irritating practice of going around and shushing people who are speaking ever so softly.what do we do then?hand signals?

fucking singaporean faggots should die.especially those mats and minahs.

paolo's last request

2009-07-23T23:45:00.000-07:00

whenever i listen to paolo's last request i'd get weepy.i dont know why.but i really do.

theres this insect in my room but i dont know where.and its making me irritated and frustrated and pissed!its disturbing me when i am playing biotronic.while im facing the screen,it'll play its "medly" song.i heard somewhere crickets make that buzzing sound as a form of mating ritual,to call out to their mates.in this case bug,im not your mate.your futile attempts to entice me to your puny body is so not needed for a)i'd crush you no matter how much i weigh and b)insects turn me off.anyhoo,when i face my laptop,it starts cricking.but when i turn towards the source of sound,it stops!my oh my!a clever bug?i hope so because im seriously pissed.i even stopped my quest to get to level6(which i did!!!but died again.fuck.) to stare at the place where the bug could be located.and i even banged on my cupboard doors and shuffled through the clothes.but nopes,no puny bug found.so turned off,i plugged in my ear piece.aaahh.bliss..

what my life is reduced to.

2009-07-23T22:14:00.000-07:00

okay.bloggers gone a little loony.the post page is funny.i dont know what im saying.im not IT savvy.

currently,my life is being reduced to playing taiti and cheat in school.ouh,and listening to my phone's mp3 player during lectures and zoning out during tutorials like econs.

i dont know why,but when i fast, i like to see people eat.and im fed up with school food.how come the malay food stalls do not serve piping hot dishes but when i see the chinese eat their wantan noodle and their fish noodle,it has steam coming out from their bowls?well,i wanna have that too.

and thanks to jannah,im addicted to biotronics.though for the life of me i couldnt digress why.im always stuck at level 4 but i made it to level 6 one time just now with no idea how.and i spent about 2+ hours in the library yesterday on our laptops playing FB games.yes im addicted to FB.and jannah is a sore loser and will show her competitive side if you get a higher score then her.im so gonna type A-Z faster than you.i'll practice everyday.and im practicing biotronic.watch out.

black eyeshadow

2009-07-22T09:34:00.000-07:00

somewhat my black eyeshadow doesnt look black.it looks rather shimmery light gray.loser.cheap makeup some more lah.im gonna get M.A.C black eyeshadow.or maybe really dark blue.and im gonna get a refill for my revlon compact.and a new blusher since my loreal one is about gone.ouh,and please remind me not to buy mascara anymore since i rarely use it.

i cant believe i spent one paragraph on makeup.sheesh.makeup slut or what?hah.

i dont know why but i always get the giggles during lectures.and fuggly suzy will always turn her head 90degrees to the left/right(since you cant turn any more than that) based on where we are sitting down just to glare at me.fuck you lah.think you so high and mighty uh?your tudung so long you can wrap a mummy with it.ugly.i hate ugly people who do not use makeup to cover their flaws since they are ugly and all.okay im sorry.but i really hate stuck up people lah.eeyeer.

im supposed to be fasting today.but im hungry.so im breaking.iman not strong.

book

2009-07-19T15:36:00.000-07:00

oh man.i miss reading so so much.im so not goona eat next week and save money for my library fines.oh man.oh man.i can barely eat without a good read.maybe this is an advantage eh?i cant sleep.boohoo.

ghost

2009-07-18T01:02:00.000-07:00

eversince rita told me about the makcik who comes aknocking on the door,im so scared to venture out to the living room especially around this time.brr.i got my accounts marks.its the highest so far.and its such a disappointment.bleachh.im reduced to staying wide awake at night since ive got no more books to read.i lie on my bed staring at the laptops screen.i have run out of websites to go to.except of course,porn.hahaha.

i hate silent rooms.it gives me time to think.thats why you dont really see me as a silent type.becoz everytime im silent,i get my brain juices working.and it scares me when i come out with ideas that are seriously crazy.im paranid,that i much admit.im scared of the future.im scared of what might or might not happen in a year's time or even as close as in a week's time.

y'know,sometimes i wish you had more guts.more feelings to splay out.i rather you hurt me then leave me wondering.so as i sat here thinking as i lay on my bed,what would happen if we totally stopped talking.if we ignored each other.if we refused to acknowledge the other.damn.it feels like haziq's era.the time when i botched things down till they're shits and then we saw each other with blank dead eyes.emotionless.if i could turn back time i wish i could.seriously

stuffs i wish i could stop before i did it:

-distributing the consent forms to mr liew's badminton club.i was left with one piece and he said he printed exact copies for his members.and i regretted not leaving the extra piece in a classroom.

-not studying for PSLE.miserable grades.my "bffs" went to prestigious school and all i got was a freaking neighbourhood school known for mats and minahs.

-stupid stuff with haziq.me and my big mouth.fuck!i was seriously infatuated(if you could accept that) with him.i was a tomboy before sec school.so when we started the ball rolling,i was so happy.seriously.i'd wait religiously for his sms.i was those pathetic people you were begging to slap just to snap me out of it.and i couldnt stand myself for the whole year.yes,sad to say,he might have been my first love.true aint it when they say you'll never forget your first love.i never did though i try.

-i hate myself for being ultra sensitive.and because of that,i lost 4 months i could spend with izzati.

there are so many regrets i have.but i cant change them.i just hope for the better.

so where do we go from here?how do we try to find our way back?do we continur or do we stop?questions with no answers.i hate you as much as i hate myself.i dont seem to cry openly in front of friends anymore,except izzati.

ahmad sholaahuddin

2009-07-16T23:35:00.000-07:00

dear ahmad,

i dont know how to proceed with you.we have been the best of friends since 2005.i remember each and every year ever since.you were there for me when i was down.but never did i remember being there for you when it was your turn.so is that my fault now tat i don't know nuts about you.

2005 was the year we met.i hardly knew you.but the thing that touched me was when no one remembered it was my birthday and you gave me a present.giving me the present was not the main criteria of me choosing you as my bestie but it was that you remembered enough to pop out some quick cash to buy it.of course my other friends apologised and i have since forgot as much as i could about that incident.we were partners when it was seat assignment.haha.i remembered you hiding your freaking small body behind the chair and sat next to me just so you could skip out from seating in front.

i gave you a birthday present that year too,but i finally finished repayment march of next year.credit this into accrued expense.haha.so 2006,you tried to leave izzati with me so we could end the feud we had for four freaking long months due to a stupid incident which i was the petty party.that was nice.we even had bets attaining to 2 dollars on account if one of the other insulted each other.you calling me G and i calling you P(which did not quite work for you were growing by the day.pfft.puberty.what it does for guys and what it doesn't do for girls)we teased each other,saying the other's shoe was freaking lame.New Era?haha.so when i changed shoe,i laughed in your face.we parted off at the end of the year with promises to not forget each other.or so it thought.

2007 was kind of miserable for me because i did not have you or izzati or noridah in class.i would always look across the classroom and see you and izzati having fun along the same block.and i always felt left out.the only times we were together was during malay lessons.that too was kind of suckish to me because there were the 6Js.the concept of 6Js amused me and i thought it was just a stupid "clan".so what?you were calling yourself brothers for life and what not.it matured you alright.from a fuggly boy(pardon me) to a quite respectably hot guy.that year,my birthday sucked alot.and i told izzati who told you.you asked me what happened the next day.and our(mostly mine) tearful conversation kept getting interupted by your "leader".he wanted to ask you for the group date 6Js were going to have.you were going to be paired off with sharizan.and i kept thinking,why can't he just wait until we finished talking before he asked you out.and being "loyal" that you were to 6Js,you kept breaking off our conversations to talk to them.and i got a little fed up.thanks a lot.i know how you feel when you have to divide time with your "new" classmates and the "old" ones.but i sort of felt this wall i have to face you when talking to you in front of 6Js.you say i was prancing around like a "wannabe cute" girl and i should stop talking like that because 6Js don't like it.but that was me.i can't change myself because you felt embarrassed by my actions.putting me in that situation always gets me feeling off.i feel upset and uncomfortable and i keep quiet.i hated malay lessons eversince.it's a now onder my results fell steadily.my malay teacher hates the geek class and doesn't try to include them in her conversations.haha.how freaking silly i felt after hearing all those conversations she had with 6Js and their feelings.i hate teachers who show favouratism(spel?).the fun things were about "mary" and "jane".and going home with you after cca.i'll wait for you to finish soccer practices after my choir and we'd go home and strategise and plan and everything.i really liked those parts.

2008.year of the Os.study,mug and concentrate.had study sessions after school which we didn't do much but eat burger and drank cold milo.it was this year that you started contacting with "jenny" after she hurt herself.you were pissed off with the guy who dropped the shutter on her.so it was true then.you really liked her.you panicked when she started trying to find out who was contacting her.and got me to try to stop her attempts.sat for Os.

2009,this year.you were MIA and barely contacted.it was only the new year message i got,that showed me the old you that i knew.the new one?i don't know him.you were my on and off bestfriend.either here or not.we set up many dates.did not go through.except one.we watched a chick flick which you claimed was crap.haha.true,guys don't like chick flicks.then the last time i saw you was on izzati's party.that too was so hard to organise.i suck at organising.i give up every time a problem crops up.i turned to syamsi because you weren;t there to pick up my calls or reply my sms.that night was for finalisation.every one was go.i changed the date because only you can't make it.i wanted my bestfriends all to be present on that day.i was devastated(this was too small a feeling for me at that time).i called syamsi and cried to him.and he told me he'd rectify the matter.and true enough he did.but i couldn't sleep that night after our "first fight".i didn't want you to feel forced.i just wanted everyone to be happy.so the party came and went.at the party i could feel this "tension" between the both of you.i felt it was my fault that neither both of you enjoyed the party that much.but maybe it was just me.so after the party,we parted ways.went to different polys and got new friends.tried meeting you but only succeeded once.that was the last i saw of you.we smsed each other.but it was always me initiating contact.why?we had jokes.we had fun.but we never met.

the thing with today was heartbreaking.i asked if you could spare me a little of your time for me to see you and to know you're fine.i only get to know you through izzati and that too is little bits and pieces of information gathered over time.so why did she have to bear the burden of your dislike for letting the bit about your lost laptop off to me?not only do i get information secondhand,i get to be the guilty one for making my bestfriends angry with each other.i don't want to play this game anymore.im sick.i cry everytime i think of this.and its usually during those red light months.

my main purpose isnt to make you feel angry and cheated i blogged about this.its just for me to rant out stuff in my heart.there were good times too.i remember laughing at you at the carpark of causeway point when we all were eating chocolate fudge cake and izzati and me were communicating in Instant Messaging.there came a part of IDK,and you spelled out I D-E-C-A-Y?and that was so funny i doubled out laughing.and then there was the time you just came back from work and was on the train.we agreed(actually it was just me) to wave at each other as you passed my block.i saw you on the train in the yellow polo tee and waved like a maniac.and then we called each other ang giggled like crazy.

i miss you like hell.i seriously do.i may sound like a love sick fool but im not.im just a "concerned" friend if oyu would have it.maybe after all this,im just paranoid about friendship.youv'e been there for me when izzati and i fell out.we never had major fights because you refuse to let me stalk off and sulk.now im asking you would you please forget my mistakes and can we start on a brand new page?im tired.seriously.

im crossing my fingers and trying to cross my toes too just to hope it works.this whole thing sucks.

its touching isn't it?writing like this.boy,i hope someone shed tears over these because i think i just flooded my room with my tears.i think after i finish my homeworks,im gonna do some serious deep welling in my bed.

on a side note,i really wish syamsi a good health very soon.take care dear best friend.get up soon and maybe i'll let you punch me and curse me.

sucks alot.

2009-07-16T16:37:00.000-07:00

this sucks.

coming second to your new friends.

do you need me now?

forget it.

tired like hellllll.

2009-07-16T00:48:00.000-07:00

im dead tired.

im super tired.

i wanna sleep.

i hate accounts.

i super hate accounts.

i managed to finish tutorial 7 in 3 hours amidst of blog-hopping and facebook-ing.

i still have tutorial 8.

shit.

its 6 questions.

forget it lah.

i want sleep ready.

kite copy-copy sajelahhh.

friends2

2009-07-14T20:23:00.000-07:00

you smile when you talk about her.

you really mean it.

you really care.

i'm happy,i guess,for you.

maybe this is the one.

but i can't help feeling green with envy.

i wish someone talked to his best friend about me the way you do to me.

it seems the subject is all i hear from you,whenever i see you.

i think i know how you felt when i talked about ahmad.

but ahmad's my bff.

i hope all works out for you.

i'm really hopeful.

it's not fair that your new mates get to see you more than i.

it's not fair that you willingly spend more time with them than i.

it's not fair that i have to ask about you and not vice-versa.

it's not fair when i do the work.

we hardly see each other.

never bump,never call.

so why do i miss you when i don't think you do me?

today was fun with helium.

"i wanna vomit"

syamsi,please stop saying i look like a divorcee.

i'm on a sabbatical from reading.

okay,so my account was suspended.

so fuckin' A what?

seventeen wants

2009-07-13T23:05:00.000-07:00

get me get me get me.

for my seventeenth,please get me..

a cake(since i always don't get a cake..)

a bohemian skirt.

weave bags(ive been trying to get my hands on these for sooo long.always no money one.budet.)

chunky bangle.gold plated please.

prada lg phone.

its not just a phone,its PRADA.

coach canvas tote bag.

pretty right????????

i want can?

btw,on the way home,an ugly man stepped on my toes.

now its fucking painful and has a blister on it.

say sorry also like no use.

say half-heartedly.

stupid ass.

then while walking,these two minahs-no-future walked pass us.

stared at us like trying to pick up a fight.

i was raring to.

please lorr.

you effing stick thin.

then want fight with me.

i think i weigh 23456754 times heavier than you lah.

assuming,shes very light lahh.

not i very heavy.

then your eyebrows like knnccb.

dont overuse your shaver can?

let the brows grow,losers.

then got tattoos some more.

please lahhhh.

i like tattoos okay.

your tattoos are miserable.

some more,looks as if you asked your friends to help you draw for free,or maybe for sexual repayments(im bitchy,i know).

it was a spade in a box.

then you tattoed your face.

in the first place,your face wasnt pretty enough to begin with.

tattoo-ing it didnt make it any prettier.

idah called them people with no hope.

maybe you dropped out of pri school coz you cant cope with basic maths.

boohoohoo.

no wonder people look down on malays lahh.

*rolls eyes till clock strikes 12.

keh im done.

im still cursing that man who gave me the blister.

convo

2009-07-12T22:51:00.000-07:00

ahmad just changed his number.

so we texted.

me:why are my best friends changing number?(since izzati also did change her number)

ahmad:the world is changing my friend.

me:ahhahahaha.and as usual,im left behind.probably due to our weight differences.seeing how i cant seem to catch up with you guys.

ahmad:haha..cock sia u.

photo gallery

2009-07-12T21:04:00.000-07:00

i can finally upload photos into blogger!

yay!

so thats why all these pics are here.

foooooh,tired dook.

so those were from as recent as sentosa trip to as early as transformers.

yeahhhhh.

i organize my pictures into folders.

there're no stray pictures found outside of folders.

there are a total number of 14 picture folders which i give them names.

idah has her own special folder.

i just watched a few early bits of White Chicks.

haha,laugh out loud funny!

wait a minute!

we're shaving our legs.

and braiding our vaginas!

funny!!!!!!!

your mother is so stupid,she exercises when she can go for liposuction or something.

your mother is so dumb,she goes to Gucci and asks for Fendi and stuff.

we just saw your new video at Saks in the security office.

Klept-HO-maniac.

White Chicks is my all time number 1 classic comedy.

sigh.

tomorrows school again.

back to not paying attention and waiting for breaks.

aaaaaalcohol

2009-07-12T00:08:00.000-07:00

i hate the smell of beer.

and red wine.

and stout.

and anything that has alcohol in it.

except of course,perfume.

yeahhh.

especially the perfume i tried out today.

the red bottle with the cute ball for you to press.

man,that smells gooooooood.

we trained to bugis just to eat ljs.

-.-

then trained to kranji.

then to cwp.

i laughed so much today.

especially in the train when we saw this pak haji headbanging to his mp3.

probably he was listening to zikir.

ahhhhaahaha.

or maybe it was metallica.
yeahhh.

my gramma listens to avenged sevenfold.

outings

2009-07-10T13:42:00.000-07:00

my body is weak from yesterdays monkey and captain's ball.

and my feet has ultra thin and small cuts from running on the coarse sand.

we should have played on the imported sand one.

oh well.

so yesterday was sentosa trip.

i baked chocolate cupcakes with while chocolate chips.

which didn't turn out well.

because i didn't add an ingredient and i the base was a tad burnt.

but it was okay.

so said everyone.

i brought 24 and i returned with 15.

can lahhh.

i miss ahmad like hell.

sms-ed him yest night.

i wanna go out with him.

last i saw him was 10 april which was izzati's party.

pffftttt.

porkys!

joanna's camwhoring session.
i love her macbook.

i took pictures at sentosa.
but it turned out fucking ugly.
ahahahaha.
im so fat lahh.
im gonna marry someone rich and do a lipo or something.

i've noticed funny stuff when im in the train.
when im not reading or listening to music.
ive heard a mom scolding her son who is on the phone about his magazines.
how she doesnt want to see his magazines anymore.
and i f she does,he's gonna get out of her house.

ive heard a lady complaining to her friend how her husband is not being faithful.

ive seen a man scratching his groin for about 3 minutes then scratched his nose.

ive smelled a drunk who is a chain smoker stinking the whole cabin.
i abhor smokers who are really heavy that the smoke smell is permanently attached to their breath.

i hold my breath until im blue when someone coughs or sneeze in front of me.
H1N1 what.
baaahhh.
singaporeans.
can't love them,can't stop loving them.

we have a new ptn.
he's such a braggart(is there such a word? root word: brag. use as an adjective. meaning:to show off.) lahh.
so what you travel 70 over countries.
you read as much books as me in a year not?
ahaha.
so yesterdays pacc was cut short an hour.
yessarrr.

i saw my econs test marks.
64.
C-.
my itab is a B-, 72.
can lahhh.
i can't wait to see MOB.
confirm i flunk punye.

okay.
this week i didnt see noridah.
noridah,where are you?
you never sms me.
never call me.
never send me email.
never go online.
why??

on a very bright note,
i had one of the best dream yest night.
it was sweet.
and i woke up with a great big grin on my face.
and i was wishing it to be true.
but dreams are the opposite of reality ain't it?
shucks.

okay im done.
im gonna post entries in school since thats the place where i can post pictures.
pictures will be updated soon.
xoxoxo,
farhanah

baik

2009-07-07T20:37:00.000-07:00

i'm in the library now.

with friends.

and i cant upload pictures on blogger.

why?

so weekends were busy.

saturday:

went out with idah to haji lane for photography outing.

was okay i guess.

since i cant take pretty pictures of buildings with my digi cam,i camwhored.

went off to bugis street to walk.

sunday:

met larry at sheng siong.

went home,fried stuff with ma.

soon seng and shu hui stopped at my house,collected the food and off we went to yew tee.

cabbed the way through.

cab ride was fun.

the driver accidentally overshot the taxi at a junction and i screamed my lungs out.

then i laughed it off and had conversation with the driver.

me:so uncle,what time you finish driving?

uncle:morning about 2-3.

m:you ever picked up strange people?

u:so far no.

m:hmm,maybe today is you're lucky day.

u:wahlaooo.

and i laughed my ass off.

ms ong was sweetly surprised.

and i cracked into laughter so many times i lost count.

reached home at 11 and slept through.

school on mon was such a bore.

i was so sleepy.

and rita gave me cupcakes.

nice!

and i have got no point for this entry.

izzati told me to post stuff.

i think she's the only one who reads my blog.

very sad eh?

she has such a sad life also.

books

2009-07-03T21:41:00.000-07:00

im done with msts.

yessar.

so went to jurong lib after school.

returned my books.

went on the catalogue to find susan elizabeth philips.

trained to bishan to get the book by her.

i have read about 2/3 of her collections found in national libraries.

and i got Honey Moon in bishan.

and i didnt regret the long time spent in the train.

Honey Moon was great.

i teared up,i laughed and i smiled.

yes,books can do that to me- reduce me to tears.

and i finished the book in 5 hours.

i totally love susan elizabeth's books.

they are romantic comedies that are seriously laugh out loud.

and i dont mind reading it many times.

its like harry potter and twilight.

addictive.

everyone who knows me knows that i love reading.

and im totally available for you if you asks me to the library.

totally.

except now my account will be suspended.

sighh...

photographys outing tmr.

followed by class gathering on sun.

busy seyy.

okay.

im blank on what to post.

i had the idea just now.

and my post was gonna be intelligent and not crap.

but again.

shit happens.

dead tired.

2009-06-29T12:15:00.000-07:00

i was effing dead tired.

my head hung heavy.

my throat felt nauseous.

and i was dizzy.

im so scared of all the viruses abang might have brought home with him from work.

i need to buy disinfectant.

i plugged in my mp3 after so long.

and im listening to those songs i used to in sec3.

and its so high school!

from a change of pace- a farewell to friendship to bayside-devotion and desire to 30 seconds to mars- from yesterday to jojo- how to touch a girl to chris brown- with you.

oh my gaaahhh!

remenisce much??

im so not ready for tomorrow.

still,out of 5 modules i only learnt 2.

but MOB im done.

only revise my revision.

hahhhh!

imma see idah tomorrow!

i hope.

i seriously hope!

tomorrow's school!

i wanna go to salvation army with jannah for 2nd hand deals.

okay!

bestfriend

2009-06-27T00:28:00.000-07:00

i think i want a reality series.

to find a new best friend.

'cause i can't seem to find mine.

and i'm so disappointed.

reality comes crashing down,eh?

so i cry myself to sleep tonight and think alot about you.

but hey,are you going to do it for me too?

zoom

2009-06-26T22:34:00.000-07:00

after about almost a year of using my phone,

i realised there's a zoom function on my phone.

...

and it's only zoom once.

crikey,ain't it?

and i dont get why soo many people are soo upset that MJs gone.

he's gone,deal with it.

you don't even know him that much.

bleachhh.

fame make people go goo-goo over the littlest stuff.

though death ain't little.

so RIP and all MJ.

then again,maybe this is a publicity stunt,and MJ has gone into hiding.

and then he goes back to his natural skin tone.

and appear walking down some street.

and becomes famous again,only this time is for good MJ impersonation.

how badass is that?

i hate combing out the kinks in my hair.

it hurts.

bahhh.

i've finished studying MOB!

now onto econs and stats and accounts and ITAB.

so much lahh.

ttyn

2009-06-25T01:20:00.000-07:00

"I'm really sorry Lydia,but,our friendship has ended.

TTYN.

Talk to you never."

-Paris Hilton,British Best Friend.

im hooked.

and im used to their accent already.

transformers

2009-06-25T00:39:00.000-07:00

i just woke up after a few minutes of sleep.

funny,i thought i was tired.

bleachh.

transformers was quite good,i have to admit.

better than what i expected.

i said i didnt like transformers but i really like this one.

its cooler.

though there are some parts i am not quite sure of.

like the names of the robots,they look almost the same.

the "decepticons" uh.

i have got no idea how to spell that.

id give a 4/5 coz i couldnt quite catch the stuff they were talking about,but it was pretty funny.

so then we went to long john after the movie.

and i sat facing the poster/mural.

and it kept bugging me.

below is the real optimus prime in vehicle form.

optimus prime(real)

optimus prime(long john version)

tell me how similar they are.
i kept looking at it and optimus prime kept ringing in my head.
told izzati and snapped a picture of it.
hahh.

then izzati went shopping and i went salivating.
i want money lah.
and i totally admit im a makeup slut.
i tried the tester for the revlon beyond natural thingy.
and it seriously lahh.
the first words out of my mouth was
"HOW COOL IS THAT?"
it started of white,then blends into your skin tone.
and its quite okay lah.
about the same price of my current revlon 2-way cake powder.
gaahhh.
sorry,make-up talk.
i want lah!

overall,the day was quite fun except towards the end.
i'll admit,min was pissing me off bit by bit.
and i kept rolling my eyes.
but its not like i'll see him again anytime soon.
so like wasting my effort to get really pissed off with him.
thought so on my way home.

dear bestfriend,thank you for today!
i enjoyed myself like alot2 lah.
thanks for the treat and the tix and the fun and laughter we had.
and the cam-whoring session.
and im sorry if i put you in a spot in the train just now.
tired and pissed off aint a good excuse for ignoring you.
sorry?
next outing we go find idah's present nak?
=D
i love you!

you have bad hair days,i have bad scarf days.
and it pisses me off.
bleachhhh.

tomorrow

2009-06-23T08:15:00.000-07:00

i cant wait for tomorrow.

BIG GRINS!!

heeee!!

transformers.

but i dont really like transformers lah.

sticks tongue out.

but i feel kinda bad coz fatin has no one to send her for acting class.

small sad face.

nevermind,i shall bully abang into sending her.

evil smile.

abang wants to bring me out to belanja on the 30th.

why???

curious pout.

i told him i dont want,i just want money back.

but he said no,no i belanja.

rolls eyes.

whats with the IM talk,farhanah?

smiles.

friends

2009-06-22T23:55:00.000-07:00

i was on the phone with izzati.

i was multi tasking-laughing and facebook-ing.

so then came the subject of her pay.

izzati:i got my pay ready.

fana:really?you called dolly?

blahblahblah.

f:so how much you got?

z:about 200.

f:sialahhhh.belanjeeee uhh.

z:hahah.okay.

f:yipeeee!!!*i really did say yipee and punched my fist in the air.

z:lets go eat long john uh.

f:ppfffttt.ahahhahhahahaha*slowly deflates.

and i laughed till my eyes teared and my stomach lining pained me so.

then i decided to chat with ahmad after so long of incommunicado.

so i asked izzati what to say.

she said,say your panties got blood.

nono,your pants.

thus my convo looked like this.

and i effing giggled with izzati on the phone.

ahahhahahaha.

funny.

and im so suay-ed lah.

everytime i brag about something about to happen,it wont happen.

ahhhhaaaa.

abang has a new job at raffles hospital.

temperature taker.

im now exposed to the danger of getting swine flu.

i covered my nose when i talked to abang.

so he said.

dont worry lah.

pig and pig wont get infected one.

so i replied,you just admitted youre a pig.

ahahahahaha.

i cant wait for wed.

i told dad i got school.

ahhhhhhhhahahahahahahhaha.

2009-06-21T21:56:00.000-07:00

I see the sunlight

I see the rain

I feel the river flow like it's running through my veins

there is a fire it's burning and I feel it's pain

there's a storm alive in the sky tonight and we won't ever be the same

there's nowhere left to hide your pretty face

it's making a move for every place

Tonight we'll leave

I guess that's how it's gotta be and

the world, the world comes tumbling down

and I wish I could stay but I know it will never be that way

and the world, the world comes tumbling down

the world comes tumbling down

I can't believe it you'll never stay

but it's now too long and some got fall but now there's nothing left to say

who makes the reasons who tells us why

but if you would heard about you shout it out

I wish you leave me here to die

there's nowhere left to hide your pretty face

it's making a move forever if it ends

Tonight we'll leave

I guess that's how it's gotta to be

and the world, the world comes tumbling down

and I wish I could stay but I know it will never be that way

and the world, the world comes tumbling down

the world comes tumbling down

and my friends, my friends keep telling me

dry your eyes mate

I know it's hard to take but

her mind has been made up there's plenty more fish in the sea

dry your eyes mate

I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts

but you've got to walk away now

it's over won't let this world keep tumbling down

won't let this world keep tumbling down

owh no no no no

won't let this world keep tumbling down

owh no no no no

tonight we'll leave I guess that's how it's got to be

and the world, the world comes tumbling down

and I wish I could stay

but I know it will never be that way

and the world, the world comes tumbling down

world comes tumbling down

the world comes tumbling down

Paolo Nutini- Tumbling Down

someday,when i find you,

i hope you'll sing me a song that you pen.

one that came from your heart and not your brain.

for as much as i heart brains,its the initaition of the heart that will bowl me over like a ten-pin.

sigh..

if only my life could get me pumping adrenaline every hour.

Happy Fathers' Day,Pops.

have a good one.

amatuer stuffs2

2009-06-20T22:04:00.000-07:00

so those were the pictures i took at botanical gardens with SPP.

went with idah at 8.

it was so hot lah.

it was alright i guess.

ahahah.

those pics i took were pretty amatuer.

but i still heart my cam.

went marina square next.

drooled over zara,mango and thos other shops.

i think idah left a little saliva in mango.

she took so long in there lah.

i hate being broke.

GSS lehh.

grr.

hanged out at esplanade.

tried to look at the NDP rehearsal.

ive never been interested in the performances safe last time uh.

now is so boring lahh.

the funpack this year is also very very very boring.

pfffftttt.

walked2.

i ate icecream and downed it with sprite.

hence,a sore throat is building up.

climbing my throat.

duh.

keh bye.

amatuer stuffs

2009-06-20T22:00:00.000-07:00

gays

2009-06-17T23:02:00.000-07:00

i cant believe how i feel for this gay guy who got cheated by his boyfriend.

very sad.

apparently,the guy(lets call him A) waited for B(his boyfriend) to spend the coming new year together.

but got paitao-ed last minute.

and then A spent his new year alone at the stairwells at some road.

cause B had some other guy bonking him.

sad right?

ahahaaha.

im still finding myself a gay bestie.

i want the macho and cute one.

cannot be the bapok kia one.

i dont want those where i appear to be more man-lier than him.

hahh.

then we'll bitch about boys and have pity parties and pig out on ice cream tubs.

apparently ive been reading too much books.

talking about books,ive gone and lost Nora Roberts which i borrowed from the library.

i distinctly remember returning it.

and i cant find it at home.

if i were to report it,the people at the library would ban me from borrowing until i clear the fines.

but im dead broke.

the horrors!!

imagine me not reading for a day.

im so depressed as of right now.

im gonna break down and cry.

im gonna complain to Jack(my imaginary gay bestie,since i havent found the real deal) and he'd comfort me as best as he could.

sobzzzz.

back

2009-06-16T21:19:00.000-07:00

im back.

and im so mofo drop-dead tired.

yesterday was fun.

i totally love the water bombing part.

and i cant stop relieving the part lun fei banged into a lampost and picked up a satay stick to ask if that was his specs.

outrageously funny!

i got back home today at 830am.

should have gone with jeanie and huizhen and board the 966 home.

i totally forgot 966 stopped right in front of my house.

i trained back home,sleeping and totally missing out on wei jie going home.

and i had to freakingly walk home from mrt.

bahhh tired!

reached,bathed,did some minor housechores before crashing to sleep.

slept till 3.

still felt it wasnt enough.

im still tired.

i miss noridah.

badly.

so much

2009-06-14T20:52:00.000-07:00

wallpaper

so thats bebeh's wallpaper.

see the yellow post-it note on the right hand side of the screen?

yep,not happening.

as of current time,im playing WC.

i seriously cannot wait to go tmr.

like finally,i go out.

im gonna drop by lib.

i freaking cant find my Nora Roberts book lah!

i thought i returned ready.

but then it says i have not.

fffffff.

i taught fatin the word freak,freaking and freak ass.

and shes now on repeat mode.

she goes "i just freaking pulled out my freaking button off my baju kurung"

and i go "stop saying freaking lah,freak ass."

baik per.

i taught my 10yo kid sis to curse nicely.

better than fuck right?

only now mama's gonna know who taught fatin.

ohwells.

revlon

2009-06-13T22:51:00.000-07:00

i will seriously love you if you buy it for me.

seriously.

Wanna look naturally glamorous?

Never overdone?

NEW Revlon Beyond Natural,

begins with a weightless foundation.

Starts off white,

and self-adjust to match your natural skin tone.

Making the right shade,as simple as your skin tone.

How cool is that?

fucking cool i tell you.

i want it yesterday siaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.