tribute to my ex-best friend->syamsi
hes full of surprises...
like just now..i ACCIDENTALLY went "diamlah gemok"
and i quickly cover my mouth in embarrassment..
he was like rite..asl nk ketawer..dah aku panggil kau camgitu dulu per
and i was like do not tell anyone or i will die of embarrassment
and i threatend to cut our friendship ties..
and he was like okay..now is 11.20,1 march 2006..
from now onwards we dont talk to each other since u insisted on cutting our friendship ties..
i couldnt say anything could i?
so..went home in sadness..
didnt even care that i had 27/30 for lit or 16/30 for english...
went home alone..but somehow walked really slowly..
turned back often..
was hoping syamsi was behind me
then after crossing the road..
he came near me and pushed my shoulder friendlily
he gave me an air batu..
so sweet kan?
we walked home in silence
i wanna say that i am very happy to get a good friend like syamsi..
so..toodah

its like the second post today..was reading sharifahs blog..listening to her song..touched..wondered to myself my friends have really changed..yeah..we do keep in contact.but it wasnt like everyday we keep on calling each other like two years ago..when we were best friends we would wonder what we would be like in the future..i realised i dont have any really really best friend..that i keep telling my secrets like two years ago..i tell him or her i have a crush on this person blah blah blah.u know..normal girl talk..izzati left me alone with syam to talk to suraya.. ): i realised syam is now the guy whom i share my thoughts with and talk openly..been walking homee with him for past two days..today he had to see dm..damn..was bored going home..syamsi has never failed to entertain me either with his jokes or make me angry like shit..got angry with him last friday..got an apology letter on monday..so sweet..hehexx..to my dear syamsi..(btw,we are just friends)good luck in fending yourself against mr tay..that freaking guy..recalled a joke syamsi made..a french and a greek makes a freak..haha..that made ms wati laughed..toooodaah

took the cake from the box..put it in my mouth..hmm..taste like durian..nolah..the cream not cold thats why like that..tasted again.holy shit!!!it IS durian..god..my appetite for that cake was gone..like seriously..i am not those malay who totally loves durian..the taste is funny and NOT sweet..and it stinks!!like seriously..

it seems like everyone around me is falling deeply in love..like as in down,down they go..drowning in love..me,jealous?oh no..nononono..but..since they are love sick wat am i supposed to do?like if you tell me..farhanah..i really cannot forget the words he said to me..then i am gonna ask you..abih kau nak aku buat aper?haha..like seriously..nak suroh kau luperkan dier..boleh rileks suahh..i just havent found him yet..or maybe forever!!oh my god!!wat am i supposed to do!!!haha..step panic ajer..my friends say..i dont feel the love that has tied them down..their love is like u tying a heavy weight on their ankle and drowning them in the indian ocean..tk mau jauh2 arh..indian ocean kan dekat..hehexx..went back home with syamsi..seriously,i am getting much more closer to him than i am with ahmad..yerlah..ahmad ckp psl bola jer..like if u ask me...arsenal lwn liverpool saper menang..wat am i supposed to say?but if u ask me kalau aku agak saper akan menang this season nyer americas next top model..mesti lah aku ckp kim..i can see the potential in her..wahaha..step manerr jerr.oklah..forgot wat to write..bye

trying so hard to know you but they just dont let me..why?i just want to be friendwss..nothing more..was it you who said no to me?i dont know wat to do..

it seems that whenever i try to find the connections between you and her..my heart breaks even more..i had a dream..of you to be mine..but gradually the dream was flushed down..i am soo sick of all this..why cant you just tell me that you want us to be friends..nothing more than that..why must you keep hinting me nd telling my peeps that you like me?and making me feel loved?i guess its tru wat idah said..aku tertelan dengan kata kata manis mu..thats just one problem..the other problem is that i get easily jealous nowadays..im getting back to my olad days..being sulky and all..i am not strong any more..i cried in class..just over the smallest thing done by a person i care about..my dear..i really hate you and will continue to do so..you are one great fat pig..i dont trust the gender which call themselves male..i was naive and you took advantage of it..i was vulnerable and you toyed with my feelings..i am not who i am..i dont know when i will be who i want to be..guys are one great load of shit..

okok..first of all to those ppl in love..HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!! gosh..today in class was soooo touching..we were supposed to have a show and tell presentation..when it was you chuens turn..he said he didnt bring anything..syamsi said to justtalk about his valentines day gift..ms wati was like you chuen has a valentine???haha..then he was like i bought this present at causeway point..blah blah blah..then ms wati asked..when are u gonna give the present to this special girl??the class aper lagi..ckp now arh..then..you chuen said i am giving it to her now..ms wati ws like laughing behind her book..haha..you chuen then went to ming rui and said happy valentines day..so sweet..ming rui received 2 present-one from my dear poh jin and the other from you chuen..soooo sweet..i was like touched..totally..

i just realised that i m learning bad habits from my dear friends..spinning pens and books were taught by izzati..doing the clicking sound with ur fingers were by the malay pupils..and the thing is i take it so seriously that i practice this everyday..rite..so..yar..

this is it then..happy v. day to all..

goobly shitto loosy moony bootchy.words that describe wat i am feeling now..results were out..he got into poly..good..tough being the elders grandchild..hopes pinning up unto you..so..now mak ngahs pinning hopes unto jannah..good luck my dear..mendaki was okay..now i didnt get any real food in me..im too dizzy to even stand..woatsie booties..im feeling creative now..till then

its not like me whos getting it..its like my bro..so why should i be nervous?is this called kasih sayang antara adik beradik??erm..nah..i dont tink so..its like all these years i hated him with my heart..but while he was combing his hair in front of my mirror..i saw that scared boy..i just wanted to hug him..today is his day..its the day he gets his o's results..good luck my brother..im sorry if all i ever done to u really hurts...NOT..haha..watever..its like not fair..mama keeps on reminding me to respect him when he doesnt respect me..ermm..shitto?yar..but heck..hes got money from working part time..hehe..hes getting fatter from eating too much kebab..much fatter than me i think..kwangkwangkwang..i am sooo bloody damn rude..me and syamsi fighting again..one dy without fighting is like not right..i seem to get even more closer to him than ahmad..syamsi thinks ive got a HUGE crush on him..layankan ajerlah..kalau tk layan mulot dier pot pet tk henti henti..kalau layan kelakar tu aderlah..i am majoking with syamsi..all his fault arh..calling me banana..serves him rite for i keep calling him r karat..haha..i hate that bloody damn ms chiu..dahlah sepet..ckp mcm nyonya..ader hati nk confiscate buku aku..she confiscated my books...just becoz i leave it under the table..like so???she said not to leave it in the cupboard..wahaha..partially my fault too..then..when she nags..fooh..boleh tido siakk..i caught ee pheng sleeping when chiu was talking to us..haha..abih muslim step baik..he was like wats the use of having high posts when people dont respect us?ckp bnyk..tapi diri sendiri main kejar2 dlm kelas..haha..i love my class..

it seems like im drowning in my hmwrk..cant breathe..ease on me plz..shucks..txtbks got confiscateed..common tests are coming soon..no time to study..extra sexuality educatons on bgr..god!!this is too much..ooo...thats it for now then..

school these days have been okays..tapi..hmwrk berlambak cam babi siool..ipw..jgn ckp..dnt..lagi jgn ckp..macam nak rak sak buat hmwrk kat sini..itu pon kalau hantar on time..kalau tk..fooh..jgn ckp..skrg aku kat skolah..buat dnt hmwrk..mcm tkder computer jer kat rumah si farhanah ni..haha..baru..ku sedari..aku ni seorg merepek..haha..tadi syam gilerr nyer kurang ajar siakk..dier lempar pen kat aku..and guess wat??baju aku dari kuning krim jadi hitam legam..terpekik aku kat saner..haha..balik kene basuh baju..kalau tkleh kluar pakser syam bayar aku..tapi..aku kan kwn baik..haha..oklah..itu jerr untuk skrg..skolah ni budget..kasi 30 minit jer pakai comp..skarang tinggal 12 minit..pantat diorg lah..ok..sebelom aku naik giler ..tk siuman...aku end jer lah..

was walking down tht pavement..someone clled me kakak..looked up..saw her smiling at me..i recognised her..smiled at her..walked away while hearing her tell her friend that i was her buddy..how could i forget..tht cute girl whom i used to tutor when she was pri 1?when she didnt know how to read..i taught her..this was the girl who recognised me for more than 2 years of not seeing me..this is the type of friends i like..those who remember me as who i am..not those who come looking for me when they are in trouble..haix..friends..sakit hati dibuat mereka..aper maksud kawan kalau begini?biarlah diriku berjauhan dengan orang yg sekejam begini..bawalah diriku sejauh mana pun..tidakku dpt menahan rasa sakit hati dibuat begitu..cukuplah disini..sebelom diriku menjadi lebih jiwang..wahaha..

Siti Nur Farhanah.
Seven-teen.
211092
I don't smile at strangers,especially female.
I burrow my soul in books for they are my place for escape.
Talk to me and maybe I'll listen,or maybe I'll zone out if you're boring me.



Farhanah Mohd Alik

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