i think my mom is a little over the top.
yesterday,she screamed at me the whole day.
for many small matters.
she wont let me study for my madrasah exam.
she called me bodoh when i was cooking squid for the family.
she did many things that hurt me.
naturally,i cried.
hard.
i did my work noisily.
i showed my anger.
sometimes i wonder if im adopted or im her step daughter.
true.
went madrasah.
sat for exams yeasterday.
then went library to follow shikin borrow books.
i get to borrow three under shikins card.
then went to causeway.
saw haziq.
he looked thinner.
and gorgeous.
i was wearing madrasah's uniform.
i dont want to change mine yat.
i still want to wear the blue one.
but its gone short.
till then.
i cant wait to escape from this mad house.
tomorrow will be my camp.
still havent pack yet.
i cant wait.
toodah

was eating my well-cooked maggi when fatin's teacher called.
was told to take fatin home.
she had an ulcer.
very small till you can barely see it.
so i was frustrated.
pissed off.
then went home.
took the lift.
was about to get out of the lift when this two children went in straight.
barely giving us space to go out.
then their parents were like sorry sorry.
i cursed the two brats under my breath.
got my results earlier.
just see it and do the target setting.
i was just 1 position away from top ten.
i was 11th position.
out of 34.
naturally,i was happy.
but not satisfied.
i mean just one position.
one from top ten.
sickening.
toodaah

ive watched it!!
ive wtched xmen 3.
it was...
brilliant.
i love the showdown.
wahahaha.
sayang mama for giving me money.
sayang afiqah for temaning me.
sayang myself for being myself.
right.
im retarded.
you guys go watch it aite?
i aint spilling anything here.
toodaah.


p.s.taylor won?
boohoo.

seriously.
she is getting on my nerves.
vandalising my table.
mintak ampun konon.
abih tu menyibok jer kat group aku.
it was art lesson and we were in the library.
one table can fit in 4 people.
that bloody bitch sat with two of my friends.
takkan aku nk dudok ngan kau kan?
so..me and siti sat at another table.
then in the middle of art lesson she sang.
loud and embarrassing.
fuckingly off pitch.
and i kept saying shut up under my breath.
syamsi wont shut up till i will be friends with her.
seriously?
syamsi said siti was sombong larh.
dont want to geng z larh.
padehal si z tu slalu nagn kwn laki dier.
fuck arh.
this may seem childish.
but i really hate her.
action jiwang.
you are one stupid vandal.
you are one bloody bitch.
yet,you WERE my bestie.
what was I thinking?

this is getting on my nerves.
syamsi just told me to apologise to z.
as far as i know.
i dont do what people ask me to.
no.
i wont.
it over.
far,far over.
ive hurt my current friends before.
i wont do it again.
i will just see z hang out with hose netball friends of hers.
i hate her.
alot.
just because she puts on that freaking,sickening face of hers.
i am blamed for it.
just because she acts as if shes got no friends.
i am blamed for leaving her behind.
eh alamak.
kau kan "friendly".
buat aper kau nak kesal just for losing a friend.
you suck to the core.
you are the lowest creature ever on earth.
youve got everyone on your side.
ms mus loves you.
your boyfriend does.
your fellow netballers too.
your dad and two brothers.
you suck norh.
oklah.
rite now.
while blogging,im seeing his face.
cute norh.
yes.
im in school.
imac computers sucks.
they are slow.
S-L-O-W.
thats it then my dearies.
z,i hate you to the bloody damn core norh.
till then.
toodah

let me make myself clear.
i dont merajuk alot.
only i get offended easily.
i know its the same thing.
but really,its not.
its like kasih and sayang.
you know.
i get offended easily because i just am.
if i look as if i merajuk,clearly i am not.
i love acting norh.
i might get offended easily.
but give me some time to cool off and i will be alrite.
lets say your mother died.
and i called you motherless child.
i am sure,certain and positive you will not like it.
so here goes to whoever yang teraser.
you gonna say things about me,you are gonna get it back to you.
like the wiccan law.
everything returns back tou you threefold.
remember this rule and i wont get back at you.
till then.

went to khatib and yishun yesterday.
with siti,afiqah and noridah.
fun,very.
we stopped at khatib mrt station.
then went to take the sikh temple's pictures near nyayi's house.
then walked all the way to yishun.
the walk took around 20 minutes of our time.
at yishun went to north point first.
then ate at long john silver.
yum yum.
then walked to the chinese temple near the place.
took pictures of it.
then walked to the mosque nearby.
took pictures.
then went acroos to take the back view of the mosque.
there was a park on a hill there.
took pictures there.
gerek.
we went up and down hill.
tiring.
not much energy left.
walked slowly to the church nearby.
took pictures.
then decided to go home.
almost craawling back home.
waited for bus at woodlands interchange.
then got home to hear mama nag irritatingly at me.
sickening.
almost overslept today.
if it wasnt for mama screaming her lungs out at me to wake up.
shit arh.
till then.

today started bad and ended bad.
i woke up late.
after having a weird dream about an mp coming to see me.
then went to school.
almost got hit by a 950 bus while jay-walking.
then in class.
it was all okay.
except during pe.
mr ho didnt come.
so mr irwin came and relief us.
he made us run 4 rounds around the school.
id be okay if i had done running for a few times for the pass few weeks.
so naturally,i failed.
along with 21 classmates.
and i ran only 3 rounds.
wahahaha.
i had aches under my knees.
so i walked funny.
then after school went choir.
just realised that i couldnt go watch movie with jan tml.
due to combined practie with band and co.
stupid.
jan still doesnt know about it.
i wish she could pick up her phone.
my pitch went wrong half way through the song.
stupid.
pianist looked at me like i went mad.
then that sepet eyes scolded me.
for not knowing my priority in cca.
like stupid seh.
i gave her a lame excuse on why i skipped choir that day.
i said i had to sort through my maths wrkshts.
of course no fool would believe that.
then got a consent form.
that shows all practices i have to attend.
tuesdays,thursdays and fridays.
like stoopid shit.
just because we are gonna perform for a concert,we have to train like some bloody hell.
i am thinking of quitting.
but choir is fun.
with ms grace larh.
ms grace belanja us go play bowling.
then ms koh belanja us go rock climbing.
that was fun.
but with this "gold-choir" teacher of ours.
life is a drag.
stupid banana.
i guess this is it.
i miss you ms grace.
come back.
we want you to lead us.
not that nyonya.
toodaahs

lets see..
im gonna post my exam marks.
english: 71/100
maths: 60/100
science: 78/100
malay: unsure
history: 71/100
geography: 64/100(i think,its either b4/b3)

soo..i am a little satisfied with my results.
i like my history,english and science results.
i think i am gonna take history next year.

i got hit today.
by boys.
syamsi pinched me after i teased him.
that seems so childish.
couldnt admit defeat.
and my brother just kicked me in the stomach.
stooopid shit.
it hurts.
i am sooo gonna tell mama about abang.
watch out you fucking piece of shit.
you are soooo gonna get it.
stooopid shit.
boys will be boys.
no matter what their age will be.
age is just a number,or so they say.
i cant wait to get out of this mad house.
im tired of doing all house work norh.
till then my loved ones.

im gonna watch a movie.
im gonna watch a movie.
im gonna watch a movie.
wonder which will it be.
(sing in a blue's clues tune)
maybe catching when a stranger calls.
tak sabar beb.
watchimg with jannah.
yay.
my results so far are good.
im gonna coach idah in english.
while she coaches me in malay.
nice nice.
toodaah.

exams are over.
i have returned to my old habits.
that is reading non-stop.
now im reading about wicca-witchcraft.
its interesting stuff.
im lying on my bed almost everytime.
reading and finishing books too fast.
making trips to the small library near my house.
i cant help it.
it scares me sometimes.
i want to be a bloodwitch.
i want to be from one of the seven great clans of witches.
i want to taste power.
i want to taste the blood of people who dies at my knees begging for mercy.
i really have to stop reading.
i have become a total bookworm.
dang!
toodaah.

ima cry myself to sleep tonight.
i saw my primary schoolmates pictures.
and i realised that.
i missed them terribly.
my current school isnt like my previous ones.
my previous ones were great.
everyone loved me then.
i missed them.
dang.
im emotionally wrecked.
i cant help.
its the hormones.
i missed you alot guys.
i wanna cry.
daah.

strange things have been happening.
and i cant sleep since then.
only shikin knows.
i cant help but remember it.
when i told shikin just now.
she laughed hard.
and i blushed.
hard.
and we talked.
girls talk.
we talked about one of her friend.
who hates me.
and i dont know why.
this sucks.
and another friend of hers who keeps asking about me.
i dont care.
i dont want to care.
tomorrow,might go out.
im watching laila isabella.
and i just realised how sexy rosyam nor's voice is.
hehe..
i guess this is it for now.
till then my dear ones.
toodaah.

stayed at home all day today.
except when going out to buy food.
woke up at 6 in the morning.
what do you expect when i was writhing in pain?
my stomach was groaning.
i think i ate wrongly.
i think it was the cabbage.
it was leftovers.
i cant tell you how many times ive been visiting the toilet.
hee :)
sent my sis to school today.
i changed her looks a little.
what do you expect?
i cant have a nerdette as a sister.
hehe.
so..
i foldded her skirt.
i pulled down her long socks.
i lent her my hairband.
overall?
she was acceptable.
now i am going to sit doing nothing.
facing the computer all day.
while trying to tahan my stomach aches.
now,can you excuse me?
i need the toilet for a while.
hehe.
till then.
toooodaaaaaah

mother's day is coming.
and i bought mama a present.
i bought her a tudung sulam.
i know she is so gonna love it.
i told her today i am gonna buy her a present.
she said she wanted something gold,shiny and with little stones on them.
so i bought a yellow tudung(yellow is near gold) with little shiny stones on it.
good?
let me say its perfect.
today,sat for the last paper.
it was ok.
if my marks arent ok,i am so gonna kill myself.
i want to get a job.
to pay off my debts.
mama suggested tutoring primary 1 kids.
i so want.
but i am afraid the parents would look at my grade and say...
NO WAY.
yearh.
im scared to be rejected.
followed afiqah to rebond her hair for the second time.
it took 2 and a half hours.
sooo fast.
i cant help falling in love with that bloody creep.
sooo gentleman like.
but creepy.
kehkehkeh.
so long u guys.
tooodaaah.

had my maths today.
it was difficult.
i hate the graph and income thingy.
why does maths have to be so hard?
why must we learn about income now?
we are not using it now rite?
yesterday i laughed alot.
we malays tried speaking english to each other.
very the janggal.
so we spoke.
then ahmad said something to z that made me totally laugh out loud.
and ms wati was like looking at me and laughing at me.
ahmad said my laughing is like the starting of a motorcycle.
rite.
my laughter is contagious.
now im totally bankrupt.
ouh yearh.
just now we ended school at 9.30.
exam marh?
then idah and i went one round around the school so we could go out at the backgate area.
then we saw this fire engine.
idah was like eh fire engine.
and i was like waving from afar.
i think the driver saw me waving coz he smiled at me.
then behind the driver...
there was this man.
soooooo drop-dead gorgeous.
wahaha.
he is like the man who i like.
no concept type of guy.
handsome giler babi.
and idah and i was like siollah..handsome nyer.
heeeeeeeeee :)
we then tried chasing after the truck.
but we couldnt catch up.
heeeeeee:)
tooooooodaaaaaahhhh

ooouh yearh.
mama bought me an orange coloured boho like blouse.
which looks like a maternity blouse.
but its nice!!
toodah

went johor just now.
after coming home from nenek's house larh.
slept at 12+. shikin said i tidor lasak.
or i sleep roughly.
rite.
she said i made the bag behind me fell while i was sleeping.
and that i stole almost all the pillows.
all while sleeping.
kehkehkeh.
beware NE campers.
rite.
went johor while feeling sleepy.
abang said i am attracting the wrong people.
the people i mean-mamaks and old men.
rite.
went to watson to buy lipgloss and dye for mama.
the cashier was like cute.
heee :) .
he looks like azman from gaduh2 sayang.
--------------------------------------------------------

men who looks cute to me:
that cashier from watson from city square in johor.
dewa 19's drummer.
azman from gaduh2 sayang.
anuar zain with the new hairstyle this year(see apm)
syed azmir.
mat malaysia(without the centre parting hairstyle nor the pierced body nor the tattooed body).
heeeeeeee :).
im done.
im being very gatal.
im typing a complaint letter for mama to give to that bookshop aunty.
heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :)
toodaah loved ones.

Siti Nur Farhanah.
Seven-teen.
211092
I don't smile at strangers,especially female.
I burrow my soul in books for they are my place for escape.
Talk to me and maybe I'll listen,or maybe I'll zone out if you're boring me.



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