Thursday, April 30, 2009 ♥

i dont know why im acting this way.
its a burden to carry.
it hurts.
i wish i could make it go away.
im tired of all of these.
i cant describe how i feel.
i feel weighted down and smothered.

i feel as if i dont care anymore.
i dont care if you shout and scream at me.
i dont care if you say im late.
i dont care to show my feelings.
im too tired.
too tired to even talk.
i feel cynical.
i feel pessimistic.
the glass is half empty for me.

i dont care to talk about it because i feel as if im raining on your parade.
i feel myself as the wet blanket.
im too tired to say why.
i stand beneath the shower.
and stare into the blank space.
id scrub myself sore to wash all the ungodliness i feel towards myself.
and id cry alone in the walls of privacy.

i feel like screaming.
it hurts,make the pain go away.



i went to bishan library alone.
pretty sight.
i sat in the quiet reading room.
ironically the two mutes who sat behind me were the ones making alot of noise.
with their nasal pitched short laugh.


fuck it.
just fuck it.
i dont feel myself anymore.
its too tiring to give a smile.
i feel so very alone in this world.

♥